Thrive: The Five Pillars of Fruitful RelationshipsSample

Consistency Builds Confidence

Don’t you love it when a friend says they’re going to call you, send you something, or follow up, and they do it? Knowing you can count on someone to show up faithfully over time, brings reassurance and security to a friendship. This creates stability and reinforces confidence among all parties involved. Consistency is the third pillar because it builds security and trust in our friendships. 

Inconsistent friendships lack confidence but regularity in friendships builds trust. The higher the degree of consistency, the higher the level of trust. For many of us, trust takes time. Trust is earned as we demonstrate our ability to stay true to ourselves and our word as a friendship progresses over time. When we can remain consistent, regardless of the season, we build more trust in our friendships. 

Being consistent also means being held accountable. This gives the people closest to us the authority to call us out when our behavior changes, especially if it negatively impacts the friendship. Let’s look at Philippians 2:3. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (NIV) In order to hold one another accountable and give or receive feedback with love, we have to first filter it through humility. This allows us to accept when we have fallen short, and therefore, have impacted the level of trust in our friendships.

It’s okay for consistency to vary across friendships because our priorities around time and frequency in communication can shift in different seasons. What is most important is that everyone agrees on any shifts in rhythm in order to protect the established trust in the friendship. 

We can only evaluate consistency in our friendships based on the standards we’ve communicated. If you feel like something you need in a friendship is missing, voice that concern. Start by identifying how one of your needs is unmet and share how it impacts your ability to build trust in the friendship.

Pray: Lord, show me the ways in which I can be inconsistent. I want all of my friendships to be built on trust so whether in my relationship with you or others, help me filter all feedback through humility. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Reflect: Name one way you can be more consistent in your friendships. How would this change build security trust in the relationship?