Raising Joy-Filled KidsSample

Freedom results from disciplines. If I lack discipline, I lack freedom. If I have never developed the discipline to exercise, I lack the freedom to hike in the mountains or swim in the ocean. As parents, we want our kids to have the freedom to treat life as an adventure. To do this we need to help them develop disciplines. We can make the mistake of not teaching them disciplines. We can also make the mistake of teaching them disciplines in ways that are self-serving and non-relational, like the parent who has expectations of excellence but never spends time training the child. The best parents are those who combine training and relationship. Whether it is art, academics, sports, DYI projects or any number of other skills, using these learning moments as opportunities to connect can be priceless. 

The apostle Paul mentored many spiritual sons. They travelled together. They ate together. They did ministry together. In the end, Paul mentored his spiritual sons in many disciplines and could remind them to be imitators of his way of life in Christ Jesus (1 Corinthians 4:16; 11:1). This is our goal as parents. We want to help our children learn age-appropriate skills in a wide array of areas as we share the experience with them. 

• Planning for success  

When you look back on your own childhood, what were some key disciplines you wish your parents had instilled in you? Share with your husband or wife. What disciplines did they instill in a way that made you feel closer to them? Were there ways of building discipline that drove you away from them? Process these questions as a couple or with a good friend. 

Once your child is past age five, they can start planning. Ask them what skills they would like to learn. Pick one that is within reach and make a plan for helping them take some baby steps in that direction. There should also be some skills you simply plan to teach them that you don’t discuss – like the discipline of doing age-appropriate chores. The combination of disciplines they want to learn and disciplines that make them stronger prepare our children for success in life.