Solid…building the Marriage of Your Dreams by Godman AkinlabiSample

 Your Spouse, Your Friend

If you got a promotion today, who would you call first? When you suffer a loss or disappointment, whose comfort do you crave the most? Who can’t you wait to share that hilarious joke with? Who is it incredibly difficult for you to keep a secret from? That would be your best friend, right? Ideally, that best friend should also be your spouse. If they didn’t fall among your top three people to contact, you need to work on your friendship.

Friendship is the adhesive that holds the entire structure of your marriage together. Unlike passion, it is the foundation of a true and lasting relationship. Friendship trumps passion because in a crisis, sex may not cut it. If for some funny reason the passion fades, friendship will be what secures your relationship. 

A friend is someone who is honest with you, who wants the best for you and has the courage to tell you areas where you need change. Someone who you trust, talk to, share life’s experiences and interests with; someone you feel confident enough to be honest and vulnerable with. Many couples assume that marriage will automatically build friendship and this is false. Love and friendship are both choices but you must invest in the process of building a strong friendship with each other.

Action Point: Talk. Talk even about the mundane parts of your day; that’s what friends do. Every discussion doesn’t have to be intellectually stimulating. Sometimes communicate just to stay close.