Recognizing your Baggage

Devotional Content:

When Nancy and I got married, we had no idea that we were bringing sexual baggage into our new marriage. In fact, we had no idea what “baggage” was all about. As we left for our honeymoon, we checked four bags. Four bags for two people! We overpacked, but those four bags were a good visual of the baggage we brought into marriage concerning sex. Talk about overpacking.  

Neither one of us had received any real counsel on sex in marriage. My sex education came mostly from peers, magazines and other sources that gave me a lot of totally useless information. Nancy’s sex education was similar but focused on the message, “sex is bad, avoid it.” I think we both thought that our sexual relationship in marriage would be great. In many ways it was, but the baggage we brought in presented many challenges that we had to work our way through. We did not expect that part.  

As a counselor, I have counseled many couples and individuals that had sexual baggage to work through. The distance between God’s plan for sex in marriage and what many people have experienced or heard about can be literally as far as the east is from the west! Our culture alone bombards us daily with sex and sexuality. Our life experiences of sex outside of marriage color the way we look at the sexual relationship and the opposite sex. In the case of sexual abuse, God’s plan for sex seems very distant; almost unattainable. We can easily get buried under the sexual baggage that we carry.

The good news is that there is hope. Hope in the reality that we have a God who loves us more than we can ever imagine, whose plan for sex in marriage is an amazing gift available to each of us. He wants that for you, for me and for all of us. Will it take work?  Sure. Will some of us need outside help? Yes. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! 

Today’s Challenge: 

Take time to identify and share about any sexual baggage you brought into marriage.

Going Deeper: 

1. Where did that baggage originate?

2. How has your sexual baggage affected your marriage?

3. What have you learned about your spouse in relation to the sexual relationship?

4. What are your next steps in dealing with your sexual baggage?