Finding Contentment as a Military WifeSýnishorn

Three Directions from the First Marriage

When God created the first man, Adam, He recognized that being alone was not good for him, so he lovingly created a “helper corresponding to him” (Gen. 2:18). Her name was Eve.

Before the fall (when Eve and Adam disobeyed the Lord), God gave us three intentions for marriage as seen in Genesis 2:24:

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” (emphasis added)

Let’s look at each of these intentions briefly.

First, a man is to leave his father and mother. The fulfillment of the command to physically leave their parents is easy for most service members. Very few of them have the opportunity to live in their hometown while in the service unless in the reserve or guard. However, this also applies emotionally. A man needs to reorder his familial priorities once married and make his wife his primary confidant, not his parents. This is also true for the wife. After looking to God, we should look to our husbands for comfort and wisdom before confiding in our moms and dads.

Second, God says the husband is to bond with his wife. The meaning behind the word bond equates to an intentional and unbreakable commitment. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines intention as “the thing you plan to do or achieve: an aim or purpose.” Too many of us live out our marriages without a plan, aim, or purpose. I was undoubtedly guilty of this during the first decade of my marriage.

Finally, Genesis 2 tells us that husband and wife are to become one flesh. One flesh means being totally united in all aspects of life—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Mind, heart, and body, a husband and wife are now considered one unit as they walk through life together. Often, when we think “one flesh,” we focus on the physical aspect, but it’s important to remember it means more than just sexual intimacy. Still, let’s explore that specific area of “one flesh.”

God created sexual intimacy as a gift for married couples. Unfortunately, Satan works diligently to defile this beautiful blessing.

It’s easy to let sexual intimacy slip from the high place God put it when you’re constantly packing up for your life, living in a state of upheaval, establishing a new home, sending your husband away, caring for children, changing your plans for the hundredth time due to the military, or ____________________ (insert your own reason here). We may even withhold physical intimacy because we’re angry with this lifestyle and the constant sacrifices we have to make.

When we become one flesh with our husbands this way, we create a soul-level bond. Sexual intimacy recalibrates us. And that’s something we need as military couples. So much of our military life keeps us apart that we have to fight intentionally to unite when we are together.

These are three directions for marriage. Tomorrow we’ll look at the purpose of marriage.