Finding Contentment as a Military WifeSýnishorn

God’s Design for Marriage

It took me about ten years of marriage to learn that judging a marriage’s quality based on how happy it makes you is a complete setup by the enemy. You struggle with sin, and your husband struggles with sin. And while there is much more to your Christian identity than just being a sinner, the truth is that when two sin-strugglers marry each other, they are inevitably going to do things that upset each other, disrupting your feelings of happiness. There’s hope, though. Through practice and maturity, believers in Christ experience unexplainable peace and contentment, even when marriage isn’t going perfectly. Those emotions run deeper than happiness and only come from a heart transformed by God.

Unfortunately, we have a very real and conniving enemy, and he goes by the name Satan. Suppose he can get you to view your marriage as “unhappy.” Discontentment is like the bits of smoldering wood in a fireplace. Focusing on marital displeasure is like letting somebody scoop hot embers from your fireplace and scatter them all over your house. It’s only a matter of time before an ember starts a fire that destroys your home. Wouldn’t life be easier if I hadn’t married a man in the military? Why does my life always revolve around my husband’s career? Why don’t I ever get a say? Did I marry the wrong person?

But here’s some relief for you: God has you where you are and who you’re with for His purposes (and for your blessing, believe it or not). You didn’t marry the wrong person, and right now, you’re not supposed to be in that place you think would make you happy. God determines your boundaries. Acts 17:26 assures us of this: “From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live.”

Here’s the tricky part: if you aren’t perfectly pleased in your marriage, that’s fine. None of us are happy all of the time in marriage. But, shockingly, your displeasure might be a significant part of God’s plan for your spiritual growth.

During the next few days, we’ll dive deeper into God’s design for marriage. As we journey together, I hope you’ll ask the Holy Spirit to show you how the challenges and joys of your unique marriage can lead you closer to Him.