He Gives More Grace: Encouragement for Moms in Any SeasonSýnishorn

Day 6: God’s Good Gift—Your Kids

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” Psalm 127:3-5

Someone wisely noted that the days of parenting are long but the years are short. From the vantage point of being a grandma, I heartily agree. The hard things felt very hard some days, but it’s the countless memories of laughter, meaningful conversations, delight in a child’s wonder, dandelion bouquets, and celebrations of growth that, woven together, have become our story and a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

However, looking back and looking around, I detect a couple of often unnoticed messages that undermine our ability to see our children as a blessing.

1. Making Too Much of Them

This is the idea that as a mother, your life should revolve entirely around your children. Your kids should be the highest priority and focus of your life. This sounds commendable—Christian, even. But if my kids are what is most important to me, then they have become an idol—something I love more than God and in whom I seek my sense of identity and purpose rather than in him. When we make too much of our children, looking to them to give our lives meaning and fulfill our needs, we are setting both them and ourselves up for disappointment.

1. Making Too Little of Them

I have also witnessed well-intentioned moms (and dads) unwittingly putting other desires above the daily sacrifices that godly parenting requires, prioritizing seemingly more fulfilling worldly ambitions—be it career or comfort or something else. The dangers here are that children can feel neglected, that we miss precious milestones due to our absence or distraction, and, ultimately, that we sacrifice a healthy relationship with our children altogether.

At which end of the spectrum do you fall?

While no mother ever plans to fall prey to one of these temptations, the truth is that, by nature, we all tend toward one or other of these errors. It is worth asking: which way does my own heart tend to lean?

Thankfully, God’s word tells us how to avoid both of these temptations. Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). While this is impossible in our own strength, the gospel gives us both the desire and power to live out this command.

When your first love is the Lord, you will be free to love your children in a way that reflects God’s love for you in Christ, and you will see them as the gift that they truly are. Rather than making them the center of your world, you can parent them for their eternal good, even when it means saying no to something they want. With your focus on Christ, rather than seeing your children as a hindrance to other things you’d rather pursue, you can recognize the blessing that they are and the privilege you’ve been given of raising them up for the Lord.

What can help us find joy in parenting even during the most difficult days and trying seasons? It is by asking God to give us the right perspective: seeing that each child is a gift and each moment with them is a gift—even when it’s hard.

GRACE IN A LINE

My children really are a sign of God’s grace to me, every day.