God Is Pretty Good at Second ChancesSýnishorn

Day 4: The Call and the Response:
Welcome to day 4! Today, I’m sharing how God called me—and how I responded.

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November 15, 2011 (journal entry)

I woke up this morning with my mind stayed on Jesus. I called a dear friend and his mother this morning. It was good to speak to them. It was good to hear his voice and to know that he is still working and trying to resist the temptations of using drugs. The devotion: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and Psalm 107:1 (NKJV): “Oh, give thanks unto the Lord for He is good, For His mercy endures forever.” Today was another filled day. Filled with God’s presence, God’s word, and God’s people. Today, I celebrate life. I saw someone give herself to Christ . . . born again . . . a new life. Today, we built our fifth house for a young lady with four kids. As we prayed over her and her new home, the presence of God filled the atmosphere, and a life was saved. Hallelujah!! This lady was HIV positive, so we prayed for her HIV to be healed. Lord, I ask that you show me/tell me my true purpose. What is it that you want me to do? Counseling and foster care are heavily on my heart. What is it, Lord, that you have called me to do? I want to do your will. I want to be lined up with you. Sociology is the degree I want to pursue. And then go into counseling. Help me, Father God!!”

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The above was a journal entry from my first mission trip to Nairobi, Kenya, in 2011. This was an experience of a lifetime that helped to catapult my call into ministry. On this mission trip, I felt God pulling me more and more toward ministry work. No blinking neon lights were saying, “THIS WAY!” so, of course, I didn’t have a clue what I was supposed to be doing in ministry. It took many years, a lot of tears, and a lot of peeling back layers before awareness began to take shape. Even in the unknowing, I continued to serve in the church, and it was serving in the church that offered self-discovery.

In 2012, I went on the Walk to Emmaus (a spiritual retreat). Here is where I began to learn how to receive Jesus’ love through other people. It was during this retreat that I began to understand that I am the hands and feet of Jesus, and Jesus is counting on me to work God’s mission. One of the best pieces of advice came while on this retreat. One spiritual leader told me, “Raquel, you know what you know; now allow your heart to receive it.” This was heavy!! It was time that my heart and mind lined up with each other. It was time to operate in faith.

God revealed to me on this retreat that I was not to take an assignment in a certain ministry. I went back and told my pastor that I couldn’t serve in the capacity asked of me. And I remember him saying something like, “But Emmaus is to help you understand serving.” I told him that Emmaus did help me understand serving, but not in that capacity. Soon after the Emmaus journey, I became a Stephen Minister, providing Christian/spiritual care for women in the congregation. The journey in ministry was beginning to take shape on the trajectory toward Christian counseling.

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November 15, 2011 (journal entry)

Perseverance: “Stand Firm During the Bumpy Times”

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings (1 Peter 5:8-9, author paraphrase). While on the mission trip in Kenya, I had a lot of emotional ups and downs. I saw more poverty than I had ever witnessed in my life. What frustrated me the most were the bumps and potholes in the roads. I was tired of being “shaken up.” I kept thinking, “Lord, why?” and “I cannot deal with the roads.” And once, I even thought, “I can’t do this at all.” Today, the Holy Spirit arrested me and reminded me that the people here have to deal with these roads every single day, and all God is asking me to give is three to four days. Then, I can go back home to my “smooth streets.” Yesterday, we got stuck in the mud for the second time this week, and I admit that I was so frustrated. Even today, the roads are bumpy, but the frustration level did not rise. When we got to the muddy spots, I simply went into prayer. When the Holy Spirit arrested me, He told me that the bumps and potholes in the road represent life. I will continue to have bumps and potholes in the road for as long as I am living, and I possibly may even get stuck. I may be able to dodge some, but others I will have to cross and go through. He said the blessing in them is that I have Christ Jesus to lean on. The Holy Spirit also said that when I get stuck in muddy situations, Jesus will surround me with the right circle of influence to encourage me, guide me, and push me out. Praise be to God! Galatians 6:9 (NIV) says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” What if I told Fred I was giving up and could do no more? What if any of us gave up in a tough situation? We would have missed our blessing, and we would miss blessing someone else through our witness and testimony.

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“Perseverance” was the second journal entry written on the same day while in Kenya in 2011. Why is it significant now? Looking back over the years, I have had to persevere during all my internal and external struggles while understanding my call to ministry. I had to fight through self-sabotage as liquor was becoming my way to cope. I also had to deal with the false beliefs that were planted: rejection, abandonment, and not being good enough.

The journey of discovering my spiritual gifts and understanding my call continued, as did the personal transformation. I continued to serve and found myself yearning for God more and more. I wanted to read, study, and be in God’s presence. I began taking different Bible study classes at church and studying on my own.

Reflect on any events, feelings, or insights that have sparked a sense of calling and identify signs or experiences that have led you to believe you are being called by God. Identify and confront any concerns or uncertainties that may be holding you back from accepting the call. Consider the broader impact and purpose that accepting the call might bring to your life. Remember that accepting a call from God is a deeply personal and spiritual journey. Take your time to reflect, pray, and seek guidance from your faith community or spiritual leaders.