We Stood Upon StarsSýnishorn

Friends

I have a fishing buddy, Chuck. Fishing is one of those shoulder-to-shoulder activities that men love. But Chuck went from being a buddy to being an enduring friend around the campfire. We were both going through a tough time, unsuccessfully balancing work and family, when he suggested a fishing trip.

We found a promising stretch of water under a canopy of aspens in the Eastern Sierras. In the late season water ran thinly, in some places barely topping our boots. Chuck fished a deeper pool fed by water tumbling over boulders and a fallen log. We both knew there’d be a fish there, but though he presented several flies, nothing bit. We tried other sections with similar results until, almost as an afterthought, Chuck cast into a six-inch deep riffle at the tail of the pool. The water turned violent, and Chuck’s fly rod doubled over on itself under strength of a native brown trout.

Chuck didn’t land the fish and we spent the rest of the day recounting what went wrong and what we’d do different next time. As the sun went down and the campfire blazed, our conversation turned from trout to other matters. Campfires are a truth serum and over firelight we recounted what was going wrong in our lives and what we would do differently when we got home.

The book of Proverbs provides great insight into what it means to be a friend. My favorite is Proverbs 18:24 which states, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

I need reliable men like Chuck to challenge me and hold me to my promises. We all need this. We all fall short. We need men in our lives who are strong enough to call us on our crap and wise enough to know when we’re dishing it. We sat in light of stars and fire and made promises about how we would be better husbands. It will be hard. I will fail. But I know we’ll fish again and I’ll be held accountable by a reliable friend.

Do you have friends like Chuck in your life?

If so, ask them to get together to discuss whatever is most pressing in your life right now. Or just go fishing.

If not, what are steps you can take in finding one?