Rooting Out Relationship KillersSýnishorn

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Complementary planting is fascinating. Simply put, some plants benefit from having certain other plants next to them. People who grow the best tomatoes grow French marigolds alongside them, because the scent of the marigolds repels certain insects, acting as a natural form of pest control.

It’s the same with relationships. The people we grow alongside have a direct effect on our healthy growth, so we need to be doing some conscious “complementary planting” in our relational world.

Some people are good company and positively enrich our relational world, whilst others are bad company and hinder our relational development. The Bible is clear: bad company does corrupt good character (Corinthians 15:33) and iron does sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17). As you will read today, if you spend time with an angry person, you will become like them (Proverbs 22:24-25). The company we keep is, therefore, like the host of other plants in the soil of our relationships. Some will do us good, others harm.

Bad company is a weed that if left unchecked will grow and seriously hinder your relationship development with others. Whereas good company is a positive feed, so needs to be encouraged as a form of complementary planting in the garden of your relationships.

Please note, I am dealing here with good and bad “company” not good and bad “people”. The fact is, good people can be bad company. People who are essentially good, God-loving, friendly, positive and helpful can actually be bad company in a specific situation.

You can be in a specific relationship – business, marriage, church, friendship or family – and an essentially good person can have a negative effect upon it. The good person is bad company. They are like a weed in the soil of that particular relationship, whereas others are like an enriching feed

This principle is about being discerning not judgmental. For example:

Your best, still-single buddy has little to offer when you need advice about how to navigate the challenges of early-married life.

The sole trader plumber has no concept of the challenges faced by the CEO of a manufacturing company employing 3000 people, so has limited wisdom to offer.

Parents navigating the teenage years are unlikely to be helped by lifelong friends who have never had children themselves.

So, if you spot a relationship suffering because of a person’s inappropriate influence, deal with it in love and do some complementary planting by reaching out to others who are ideally placed to stand alongside you in the current season.

Make a deliberate decision to be with people whose words and attitudes draw you closer to each other and the vision you have for your relationship. Find company that is good for the relationship and nourishes it’s health. Do things with them, cheer each other on and be there for each other in the tough times.

Get busy doing some complementary planting because, by so doing, you are proactively feeding your relationships and ensuring their healthy growth.