One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansSýnishorn

Man of the House

For you, dear friends, have been called to live in freedom—not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love. (Gal. 5:13 NLT)

Many police cars have this slogan on the side: “To protect and to serve.” The authority of a husband as the head of his home exists for the same two purposes. Righteous authority can only be used in this manner. Any other use of authority is abusive and self-serving.

The misuse of authority has led many women to flinch when the word submission is brought up. Today’s women often view submission to men as an outdated and humiliating concept. Much of this response is due to the failure of men to be Christlike leaders in their homes.

Let’s go back to the two purposes of authority. One of the reasons God gives men the position as head of the home is to protect his wife. Let me give you an example of this in my own marriage. First of all, Karen is my equal. My authority as her husband isn’t about domination or superiority. It’s about protection.

Every good marriage thrives on cooperation and respect. So when do I use authority? I use it when I see Karen doing something that would put her at risk. An example is her back. She had an injury about fifteen years ago that led to a surgery. The only time you will ever see me being bossy with Karen is when I see her about to lift something that would damage her back. Men should protect their wives. The Bible uses the word cherish to describe how husbands should love their wives. It means to protect from all harm.

The other purpose of authority is to serve. Jesus was a servant leader and taught us to be the same. Men should be the servant leaders of their homes. This means two things. First of all it means that he is the loving initiator of the well-being of the home—respecting his wife as his equal. Rather than being passive or dominant, a servant leader initiates discussions and actions related to such things as children, finances, spirituality, and romance as he invites the advice and influence of his wife.

The second thing that a servant leader does is use his position to bring others to their highest potential. The Bible says a man should nourish his wife. The word nourish in that text means to “feed to maturity.” A good husband is God’s partner to bring his wife to the full purpose God created her for—which is always great. When a wife knows that her husband is her biggest fan and is there to promote and protect her, she’s in heaven.

Talk It Out | Wives, tell your husband about a time that you appreciated his role in protecting and serving you. Tell him how it made you feel and why it’s important to you. As a couple, talk about ways you can deepen your sense of cooperation in your marriage.

Walk It Out | Look at some pictures from early in your marriage or when you were dating. Talk about some of your favorite memories.