One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansSýnishorn

Feast or Famine?

The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25 NLT)

There is a story I heard years ago about the difference between heaven and hell. It isn’t a biblically accurate story, but that’s not the point. It is accurate related to human behavior and how our attitudes affect our happiness in life and in marriage. Here it is:

In heaven and in hell, people are seated around a banquet table and before them is a great feast. There is a strange dilemma, however, about the way they must eat. Every person has eating utensils strapped to their hands that they cannot take off. Also, the utensils are too long for them to feed themselves. There is no way they could scoop food and return it to their own mouths.

In heaven, the people easily find the solution. With joy, they simply feed each other and have a great time of fellowship as they serve one another and enjoy the feast that heaven offers. Hell is much different. The people in hell are so selfish that they would rather starve to death than help someone else. Therefore, even though they have the same food available, they never experience it because they refuse to serve each other.

Like I said before, it isn’t an accurate account of what the Bible says; however, it is a very accurate picture of the difference between bad and good marriages. The primary difference in many cases between success or failure in marriage is simply whether you are motivated by selfishness or a servant attitude.

Just like in the story, a banquet is set before us in marriage. Both of us bring to the relationship amazing giftings, abilities, and personality that can nourish and bless our spouses. However, they can only be experienced if we focus on each other and are willing to serve and give.

I remember back to the “hell” days in our marriage when I was too selfish to meet Karen’s needs or focus on her. We lived in an emotional wilderness where both of us were miserable. I also remember when our season in hell ended and the “heaven” years began approximately thirty years ago. I saw the light and repented for my selfishness. Since then Karen and I have been committed to serving each other and meeting each other’s needs.

I like the story of heaven and hell. It’s a good reminder to all of us not to be selfish. Just remember, your marriage is full of every blessing you can ever hope for, but it can only be released as you are willing to serve your spouse.

Talk It Out | What are some of the giftings and abilities that each of you bring into the marriage relationship? Write down the positive qualities you see in your spouse, and compare your lists. Then talk about ways you can use those giftings to meet each other’s needs.

Walk It Out | Prepare a food item that your spouse really likes, and take turns serving the food to each other. It could be something as simple as microwave popcorn or it could be a full-course meal—whatever you choose. Use this as an opportunity to demonstrate your desire to serve each other.