Overwhelmed by My Blessings: Encouragement for Moms (Part 6)Sýnishorn

The four year old seated in the grocery cart was wailing at the top of his lungs as his mother wheeled through the big box store where I was shopping. She was oblivious to his cries, allowing him free reign with his rage. You could hear his screams over the entire store and I noticed the concerned and annoyed looks on the faces of other patrons. Who was in charge here? The mom or the child?

I know I was guilty many times of allowing my children to take the lead. They call us “mean, strict or old school” and shy away from our original guidelines. We are worn down with requests, debates, arguing, and badgering and we give in. We concede when they tell us, “That’s too hard!”, believing the lie that it’s too difficult for them, or they don’t understand. We are stooping to the maturity level of our child as they are making a power play and winning. We have yielded our leadership and our child is now in charge.

If you are a single mom, or have been through any traumatic event with your children, you bear even more of these guilty feelings. This guilt causes us to back down from our standards and not press through. Or, it can cause us to baby our older children, as we continue doing things for them well after they should have taken the responsibility for themselves.

There is a problem when we parent without consistency and structure. We create insecure children who are at risk in their growth and development.

Why do we give in? It makes us feel better, at least temporarily. It relieves a bit of that mom guilt. Maybe our child won’t think we are so mean or old-fashioned. Maybe they will like us better.

I have news for you: you are the parent. You are not subject to your children, nor are you their friend. Parenting is God’s line of authority, and when we allow our children to wear us down, step over and beyond us, we are allowing an avenue of chaos, disobedience and insecurity into their lives. If we don’t stop it now, we will leave a legacy of confusion, distrust, and someday adults that can’t obey God or stay in a relationship.

Structure in your child’s life is good. God is a God of order, not chaos. If we allow our children to set the bar, they will never reach their God given potential. If we will stand unwavering against the demands, jabs, and complaints of our kids, and not grow weary, we will see our children rise to the standards we set. The dictionary defines the word “mother” as one who brings up another. Bringing up! Giving rise to our children. We are charged with leading them to a higher way. THE Way!

Don’t be like a ship, tossed back and forth on waves of indecision. Set standards that are fitting to you and your family based on the Word of God. Be firm, unmoving, and lead your children to the high path, one that will produce loving, secure adults.

Father, I admit I am weary and easily worn down. Add to that the guilt of my failings, and the fact that I just don’t know what to do in some situations and most days I’m just a mess. It’s no wonder my kids are too. I’m asking You, Jesus, to lead me to new thoughts and ideas of how to lead my children with consistency in the standards you’ve given me. I pray that as I search your Word for direction, that as I walk by Your side, I will be a strong example of guidance and security to my children. Help me not to be tossed back and forth by the complaints and cries of my children, but to hold firm to what I know is true and right. Give me boldness to step into giving rise to my children, knowing that as I find my security in You, I will be more secure in my parenting.