Wisdom for DatingSýnishorn

Working Through Conflict

On Day 1 we talked about pressure that can be toxic to relationships. But sometimes pressure can be positive. When? Whenever it helps us become more like Jesus.

Dating relationships produce plenty of positive pressure. Think about it. You’re in a close and emotion-filled relationship with someone who is different from you. So you’ll have plenty of opportunities for growth in communication skills, humility, kindness, forgiveness, and servanthood.

Conflict might seem scary, but it can actually be healthy. How? Because conflict can help you learn more about the person you’re dating and it can reveal things that need to be addressed. Of course, we should set boundaries. If dating feels like a constant battle, then you may not be right for each other. But there’s no such thing as a conflict-free relationship. And that’s a good thing, because conflict can make us better.

This is not only true in dating relationships but in other friendships too. Consider the ministry friendship between Paul and Peter. In Galatians 2, we hear about Paul confronting Peter directly because he was unjustly neglecting certain people in the church community. Peter might have felt annoyed or embarrassed at first, but it made him better in the long run.

When you date someone, you’re choosing to be vulnerable. It means they’ll eventually see “the real you.” That can be scary, but it can also be life-giving, because your partner can help you see things about yourself that you weren’t seeing before—good things and areas to work on.

Remember, setting boundaries is important, and if you’re frequently experiencing significant conflict in your dating relationship, it’s probably a sign to seek guidance from trusted friends, and of course ask God for wisdom.

Conflict in dating relationships doesn’t have to be scary. So don’t hide from it. Instead, embrace a grace-filled approach to help you and your partner grow through it.

Challenge: Reflect on your feelings about conflict. How was conflict handled as you grew up? And how does that inform how you handle conflict today? Reflect on today’s verses to identify one way you can grow in grace-filled conflict resolution.