Home for the Holidays? Surviving Your Family Even if They Drive You NutsSýnishorn

Give Up a Grudge

If someone in your family drives you nuts or has hurt you in the past, it might be hard to face them during the holidays. The quickest and easiest way to let go of the pain or irritation and enjoy your Thanksgiving and Christmas is to give up a grudge and forgive them. It’s the only thing that truly sets you free. 

Holding a grudge may be the socially acceptable thing to do, but it just gives someone who has hurt you continued power over your life. When you give up the grudge and forgive, it cuts the chain that’s holding onto hurt and sets you free. 

Mark 11:25 says: Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop (AMPC). 

Notice it says “anything against anyone.” That covers everything, big and small – it covers everyone, even those you trusted, or who should have known better, or who hurt you by accident or on purpose. Let it drop! Leave it! Just like the famous Disney song says, let it go! Picture yourself dropping the grudge and walking away, never to think or talk about it again. That’s freedom! 

God is not a grudge-holder. He is a forgiving father. Since you are his child, you can also be a forgiver. It’s for your ultimate benefit. Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die; it’s not hurting the one you’re holding a grudge against, it’s hurting you. 

Ephesians 4:32 says it this way: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. God has forgiven you everything by the blood of Jesus – you can forgive too. 

Don’t wait for that family member to say they are sorry – they may never say it! We don’t forgive people because we feel like it or because they deserve it. We do it to gain freedom. Remember, God just wants you to want to. If it’s been hard for you to forgive someone, pray like this: “Father, thank you for forgiving me. Now I choose to forgive ______ by faith, in Jesus’ Name. Thank you for your peace and love working in our family. Amen”