Are You Really Ok? Sýnishorn

Many Christians tend to have an adverse reaction to the word self-care. There’s an underlying false (and, might I add, dangerous) belief that the word self-care is somehow selfish. It’s an assumption that leads to the false notion that to focus on caring for yourself means to stop focusing on God and others. But the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, Jesus Himself modeled the principles of self-care in how He lived His life.

I always point to the scripture that reminds us to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Jesus chose that specific set of words for a specific reason. I wonder if it’s because He knew that loving God and loving others weren’t mutually exclusive with loving ourselves. I wonder if it’s because He knew that self-loathing and self-neglect were just as harmful as vanity and self-centeredness. When we stop caring for ourselves, we become empty. Ironically, empty people are the most self-centered and self-absorbed of all. By not caring for ourselves, we become self-focused—the very thing we were trying to avoid in the first place.

Jesus knew the importance of fueling up long before He got to empty. And He modeled that to us in three specific ways:

1. He surrounded Himself with the right people. Jesus was so good at cultivating community. He hand-selected the people who would walk by His side in the give-and-take of true friendship. They did ministry together, but they also had fun together. They went to weddings, they ate meals together, they visited friends together, and they simply enjoyed each other’s company. We can learn so much from the idea of seeing our friendships and community as a crucial part of keeping ourselves healthy and filled up. This is such a practical part of the picture of self-care. Jesus didn’t haphazardly choose His people; He prayerfully chose His people. Scripture tells us that He had spent an entire night in prayer before choosing who would be His disciples the next morning (Luke 6:12-13). What type of people are you surrounding yourself with, and are they people who help to fill you up, or do they wear you down? Taking care of yourself means being deliberate about who you allow to surround you.

2. He took time to rest. The idea of Jesus sleeping makes me feel the importance of recharging in my own life. It’s actually arrogant for me to think I don’t need it when God Himself took the time to prioritize it. Mark 4:35-40 tells of one such story when Jesus had just finished a significant day of ministry. There were still crowds, and there were still needs to be met, but even so, Jesus recognized His own needs and the need of His disciples for rest. “Let’s go over to the other side,” He told them. And they took the boat to the other side of the lake for a little peace and quiet. In fact, Jesus climbed in the boat, went down to the stern, and fell asleep on a cushion, sleeping right through a big storm until His disciples woke Him up to make it stop (Mark 4:38)! He made time to rest, and He encouraged His disciples to do the same (Mark 6:31-32). It makes me smile to think of Jesus in this way, in tune with His own needs and the needs of others.

3. He loaded up on prayer. Jesus knew that self-care wasn’t complete until He allowed Himself to be filled up by connecting with the Father. He made time for prayer, unplugging from everything and everyone else to plug into God. Luke 5:16 finds Him withdrawing to “lonely places” to pray. A few chapters later, we see Jesus committing an entire evening to prayer, spending the whole night connecting with God (Luke 6:12). Talk about a time of filling up! Another time, we see Jesus waking up while it was still dark, before the sun was even out, just to make sure to get that time alone to pray (Mark 1:35). Jesus knew the importance of prayer as His lifeline to the Father. Scripture is full of these examples! It challenges me to take inventory of my own heart and my own tendency to “fill up” on things that don’t really fill me up. 

I’m asking God to change my heart in this important area of self-care. To see His presence in my life and His filling of my heart as a desperate need, rather than just a bonus. And I wonder if maybe, just maybe, you need to ask God for the same.

We hope you have found this YouVersion plan to be helpful! You can learn more about Debra Fileta's latest book, Are You Really OK? here.