Are You Really Ok? Sýnishorn

How can we keep our feelings in check and in balance? Well, let’s start with what we shouldn’t do and talk through the things that will give your feelings power over you instead of the other way around. 

The worst thing we can do for our emotions is to simply ignore them. When we ignore or repress our emotions, the pressure begins to build underneath the surface, which eventually leads to an emotional rupture. At this point, your emotions are controlling you and not the other way around. 

The second thing we can do to let our emotions control us is to never question our emotions and simply respond to them as though they’re infallible. To trust your emotions too much is just as unhealthy as ignoring them altogether. Emotions are just a signal. So, if we shouldn’t totally ignore them, and we shouldn’t accept them without question, what’s the best response? As with most things in life, the best response comes with balance. 

The first two steps to taking control of our emotions would be the exact opposite of the things we do to allow our emotions to control us. First and foremost, in order to take control of our emotions, we need to acknowledge our emotions. We’ve got to know what’s going on inside in order to be able to deal with it. We have to learn to pay attention to our emotional world. 

One man who did a remarkable job of paying attention to his emotional life was King David. He was so in tune with how he was feeling, and the Psalms are full of emotional colors to prove it. David understood, felt, and expressed emotions from distress and sorrow all the way to gratitude and adoration. Take a moment to read through some of these verses from Psalms (emphasis added), looking for the emotion expressed and noting the deep awareness: 

• “Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 4:1). 

• “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).

• “Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” (Psalm 6:2-3). 

• “I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes” (Psalm 6:6-7). 

• “I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you” (Psalm 9:1-2). 

• “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have agony in my heart?” (Psalm 13:2). 

• “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5). 

• “Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure… You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence” (Psalm 16:9,11). 

• “I love you, Lord, my strength” (Psalm 18:1). 

• “My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” (Psalm 28:7).

• “When I felt secure, I said, ‘I will never be shaken’ ” (Psalm 30:6). 

• “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 43:5). 

Isn’t it interesting that such an emotional and passionate man would be titled as a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22)? His heart was reflective of God’s heart: a God of passion and emotion—yet, a God with complete control of those passions and emotions. There’s something remarkably hopeful about knowing that my God knows, understands, and feels what I feel, yet that these emotions are not meant to control me, I’m meant to be controlled by His Spirit. 

This leads us to the second thing we need to do in order to take control of our emotions: We need to question our emotions. We have to line our emotions up to the measuring stick of truth, rather than the measuring stick of experience. Because what we feel experientially isn’t always based on truth. Sometimes, it’s based on our past, or on lies we’ve believed, or on the hurts we’ve experienced; yet sometimes, it’s based on truth. We have to question what we’re feeling and make sure it lines up to the reality of what we know to be true based on God’s Word.

Your emotions are real, but they aren’t always true. What’s true is God’s Word declared over your life. What’s true is your identity in Christ. What’s true is that in your weakness, Christ’s strength is made perfect. What’s true is the Holy Spirit at work in your life and in your situation. What’s true is that God promises to take every detail and work it together for your good. His truth supersedes what we feel.