Heroic Husbandry: Reclaiming Hero Status in Your MarriageSýnishorn

Heroic Honor

I’m not a fan of phone calls, especially when I’m “in the groove” at work. 

When my wife calls, I often get short with her. Plain mean sometimes. 

For whatever reason, the “interruption” triggers me. Countless arguments have been caused, and wonderful days ruined, because of my poisonous words and overall lack of honor towards her. 

The Bible warns us of the tongue’s fire. It is a world of unrighteousness, a restless evil. 

Our words matter.

That’s why commands are given to build each other up and (my personal favorite) to “outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10) The verb “outdo” is a competitive verb. Heroic Husbands don’t lose this competition. We don’t win by how much honor we can accrue for ourselves. No, we win the day by honoring others, and it is our bride who should receive the bulk of it.

Your wife is like a garden. Gardens exist to be seen as beautiful, to be lingered in, and be treasured. While everyone else must marvel from afar, it is only you she invites in. You follow the radiant, sun-kissed paths of who she is; and though it is not perfection, it is lovely. She is lovely. And it is her desire for you to cherish her innate, God-given beauty. 

When my wife invites me in, and I tromp around with a tongue set on “Scorch Mode,” I damage her. I defile the very grounds I’m meant to protect and admire. 

Little nags, critiques, “hints”, and (crucially) lack of compliments, flirts, and honor are not heroic. 

Pause and consider life from your wife’s perspective for a moment. Think about how she cares for people at work, the home, the kids, on and on. Visualize going about the ordinary, overlooked, un-thanked tasks of her day, all that’s required to maintain a healthy household, thriving relationships, a stable reputation, or a progressing career. Are not these duties worthy of honor?

Husband, this is our call to action. We must shower our wives with words of honor.

I bet there is ground to reclaim here, because damage has been done. I know there is for me. 

When we fail,– as we will – we must apologize swiftly. Then get back at it.

Relentlessly choose to honor your bride with your words, even if she calls at an inconvenient time.

For more help becoming a Heroic Husband, download a devotional sample pack from FamilyLife®.