Faith Over FearSýnishorn

There was a time when I would've done nearly anything to avoid looking weak. Afraid others might take advantage of me, or perhaps lose respect for me, I hid my frailties and rarely asked for help. My fierce reliance on myself hindered my growth and my relationship with Christ and others.

My father was a wrestling coach, so I grew up watching him lead practices where he pushed his athletes past their perceived capabilities. I attended his annual “Call of the Mountain Men” where he inspired his team to overcome obstacles and fears. Many times, I benefited from his keen insight to the human psyche and, like his high school trainees, attempted to rise to whatever challenge he set. I came to interpret, “I bet you can’t” to mean, “Show me you can.” And while this got me through much adversity, it also fed my innate pride. 

I came to see myself as unconquerable, and by the time I reached adulthood, I’d made my fitness level my god and my identity. Then, in 2011, I became sick and suddenly, my illness challenged everything I’d come to believe about myself. Not only could I not train, not run, and not lift a single weight; there were days I spent most of my time in bed. In my weakness, I needed help from others and from God. 

At first, this shook me and sent me spiraling into depression. I lost sight of who I was—for a time. But in reality, through this, as I drew closer to Christ, I actually discovered who I was in Him. More than that, I learned weakness wasn’t something shameful to be feared and avoided. Rather, it was inherent to the human condition, something that draws man to Jesus and one another. As we rely on our brothers and sisters in Christ, we reveal a supernatural love, and as we lean on God, we proclaim its source. 

Our world often idolizes strength and independence. This can cause or exacerbate an unhealthy fear of weakness. But the Bible tells us when we are weak, we are strong, for God’s strength is perfected within us. Therefore, we have no cause for embarrassment. Rather, may we boldly proclaim our frailties so that others may see Christ—His strength and power—in us. 

~Jennifer Slattery