Eat. Pie. Love.Sýnishorn

Harsh vs. Gentle Teacher

We all have our favorite teacher from school, or most of us do! Of course, my favorite teachers were my favorite because they weren’t too hard on me and loved me for me! But sometimes in our lives, we need a gentle teacher and a harsh teacher. Have you ever had a friend who can at times be a harsh teacher? When they are honest, do you see them as rude and not want to be their friend anymore? When we can work through our damaged narrative, we can take their words and see that they want God’s best for us. Their words can be gracious and full of truth.

I have had a few harsh teachers in my life, but my favorite one is my husband, Rick. Yes, I know that seems hard to believe, but he sees me and knows me. He knows when to push me and remind me that I’m better than being a doormat, allowing people to walk all over me. My favorite memory of this fills me with hope when I think about it, but it sure didn’t feel like it in the moment! One day we were driving down the back roads to Round Top, and he looked so strong and protective. He spoke with passion over a tough relationship I was letting stand between us. He asked how we even got to this place in our marriage and how we were even still married. “We can’t keep going like this,” he started. “You are going to have to trust me and know that I only want what is best for you, for us, and for our family. I love you.”

My heart fell into my stomach and tears started to pour down my face. Was he truly thinking of divorce? Of course, I knew he wasn’t because we have so much grace for each other, but we were at the end of the rope. I was going to have to let go and trust that I would land on solid ground. Then, my phone rang, and it was the person I was letting stand between Rick and me. I didn’t want to answer it; I tried to ignore it, hoping everything would fix itself. But I dug down deep and answered the phone. Of course, they began asking the very questions I didn’t want them to ask, questions where they needed and wanted things I couldn’t give. But because of the conversation I had just had with Rick, I knew I had to trust him and Jesus. And Jesus was near! He helped me stand in truth and speak the hard words I needed to say. The person didn’t respond in the way I expected. Instead, they said, “I understand.”

Without Rick’s harsh yet loving challenge to me, I know I wouldn’t have had the courage to stand up for myself and my marriage. Having someone in our corner who is willing to say the hard things we need to hear forces us to take a good look at ourselves, and it helps us to grow. Harsh but gentle teachers can be a gift from God. We just have to humble ourselves enough to listen because God may just be using them to speak to us.

Today’s Slice of Pie

• Can you think of a conversation where you thought someone was being too critical or rude to you? If you could look at that conversation from a different perspective, what do you think you can learn from their words?
• Do you see yourself as a harsh or gentle teacher? Why?
• Think about a time that God was a harsh and gentle teacher. What was He trying to teach you?