Lies Moms Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them FreeSýnishorn

 Mom Lie #2: It’s too soon to talk to my daughter about ____________. 

 Ever try to pluck up a dandelion without getting the roots? It grows right back. Same thing happens if you try to control the sinful behavior of someone without first removing that lie that’s rooted in their heart.

The Bible uses the word "heart" to refer to the roots of our belief system. If you want to really influence thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, you can’t focus your primary efforts on restraining them. You must impact a person’s heart or belief system. The Bible communicates this Truth clearly.

As he thinks in his heart, so is he.

(Proverbs 23:7 nkjv)

When our daughters are mired in sticky feelings, exhibit harmful or sinful behavior, or deceive us, they are revealing the roots of lies. If you are intentional to nurture your daughter in Truth rather than simply restrain her outward behavior, you are developing an important tool. It will enable you to identify where the bad roots are growing, so you can help your daughter pull them up and replace them with Truth.

I have found that this complex process can freak a mom out! Restraining alone is so much easier, and you don’t have to identify the lies that you wish were not there. For that reason, some moms pretend the evidence of the lies does not exist.

Can you say fear?

If you want to parent out of grace with the intention of nurturing Truth, you must first conquer your fear. Fear can cause us to be restrictive, legalistic, secretive, and overly sheltering. To be clear, fear can be healthy. If you’re chased by a grizzly bear, fear is good. But it can be dangerous and counterproductive when it comes to parenting.

Fear has a favorite subject to roll around in the minds of moms: their past. It often brings a buddy: unworthiness. These emotions make a big show of themselves when you think about discussing certain topics where you have believed—or still believe—lies. (Think: sex, gender, eating disorders, and depression.)

I think a lot of moms who experience fear are believing this lie:

MOM LIE #2:

“IT’S TOO SOON TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER ABOUT _____________.”

Now—during your daughter’s tween years— is the most important time to plant seeds of truth into her heart.

My friend George Barna, who invested several years of his life researching the religious beliefs and behaviors of Americans, says it this way:

“What you believe by your fourteenth birthday is generally what you die believing.”

When I discovered this, I realized how critical it was for me to plant foundational Truth into my children during their tween years. It helped me gain the courage to send fear packing.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

We cannot parent out of a spirit of fear. It’s not from God.