Taboo: Topics Christians Should Be Talking About but Don’tPrimjer

Let’s Talk Taboo

Many years ago, I walked into a counselor’s office and admitted my addiction to pornography. I remember feeling awkward and self-conscious as I passed people in the hallway that led to his office, wondering if they might be wondering what I was doing that day. Did they know my struggle? Would they guess my sin? Would they think differently of me if they guessed correctly?

I didn’t know the answers to those questions, but I did know that I needed help. It would have been insanity to keep doing what I had been doing and expect a different result. I was stuck and unable to save myself from old patterns and sinful behaviors. And by God’s insane grace and through talking to a counselor, I got help.

I wanted to start this reading plan with my story because it supports a deep belief I have about life, namely, that not talking is not helping. In too many Christian churches and homes, we are not talking about the real issues we are facing. And that’s not helping.

In every Christian community, there are people who tend to experience anxious and depressed thoughts as a default state. People who have wondered if anyone would miss them if they were gone, who silently (or not) look down on other ethnicities, who realize they are attracted to their same sex, who feel trapped in the wrong bodies, who are on the edge of an affair, whose search history is filled with pornography. People who are being abused, people who are abusing, people who believe divorce is an option, people who believe divorce is never an option, people who know more about modern politics than ancient Scripture, people who are living together because they’re terrified of marriage, people who are married who have no clue what they’re doing, and people who crack open a beer (or five) every day when they get home from work.

That is us. In the church. In your church. In your home. And—here’s my point—not talking is not helping. As awkward and cringeworthy as those conversations can be, avoiding them will not resolve them. In fact, secrecy and shame have a way of making bad things worse.

But talking helps. Even if we are talking taboo. I pray that today God would give you a gentle nudge (or a firm shove, if necessary) so that you can step into the light of honest conversation with someone who loves you and loves God’s Word. That’s how lives change. That’s how shame fades. That’s how God blesses you from the inside out.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16,17).