Greater Joy TWOgetherPrimjer

Being Intentional

Making my wife laugh is part of my mission in life. Amy’s laugh is truly something to witness. She goes silent, places her hand over her heart, leans forward, and stops breathing. I call it the silent, patriotic laugh.

I’m not always successful at making Amy let out a belly laugh, but I’ll take a chuckle, cackle, or smile from her any day. Laughter keeps our marriage fresh and fun.

Being intentional about the simple things, such as shared laughter, is life-giving for a marriage. It might be a “small beginning” for you (see Zechariah 4:10), but if you are intentional with little connections, they will start to feel natural.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1, Solomon says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” We do not choose the appointed times God has for us, but we do choose how we respond in those appointed times. Some seasons call for weeping and mourning, while others call for laughing and dancing.

Amy and I are careful never to use humor to avoid hard conversations. Humor defuses tension and conflict, but if we take things too far, jokes turn to sarcasm. At least in our marriage, we’ve found that sarcasm does not build intimacy. Good-hearted humor does.

When was the last time you two laughed together? How often do you try to make each other laugh? If it has been a while and your attempts are sparse, it’s time to get serious about laughing together.

We do not have control over every trial of life, but we have plenty of input in finding joy in our trials. Laugh at yourself today and invite your spouse to join in.

Father, thank you for creating laughter. Help us take you very seriously, but ourselves not so much. We want to bring more joy to each other in appropriate and fulfilling ways. Thank you for the lighter side of life. We want to honor you as we step into the appointed time to laugh. In Jesus’ name. Amen.