Sprout: 21 Days for the Fruit of the Spirit to Bloom in Your LifePrimjer

Lay Down Your "Self"

By Chelsea Seaton

Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” —Luke 9:23–24 NLT

“Oh, wonderful, we finally made it to the self-control fruit.” [Insert eye roll here.] “Get ready for the pastor to yell at us about how we need to stop doing bad things and have more control over our temptations.” I’m sure that’s what you’re thinking or nervous about me doing. Don’t worry; that’s not what this devotional is about. When I was assigned the task of writing about the fruit of self-control, I rolled my eyes and thought, They have the wrong person. I’m not the one who needs to be writing about this. I thought of all the perfect pastors I serve with who would be much better suited to give you an encouraging word that would inspire you (and me) to have more self-control. But alas, I said yes, and here we are.

As I prayed and wrestled with God, He showed me something I’ve never seen. Probably like most of you, I viewed this fruit as the ability to stop doing bad things. When I mess up, my first thought is, Why couldn’t I have more self-control? When I’m aggressively driving down the highway 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, weaving between the cars who are in my way, why can’t I just have more self-control? (That’s a hypothetical situation, of course. I would never drive like that, but I think others do.)

But what if having self-control isn’t about mustering up the willpower to avoid doing bad things until you either eventually give in, or you feel really good about avoiding-self, resulting in pride? What if having self-control is all about giving up control of your “self” to someone else? Pastor Robert often asks, “Have you given control of your life to Jesus?” Giving up control is not something we do only at the moment of salvation. It is a daily practice of saying to Jesus, “My life is not my own. I give You control today.”

We often view self-control as the ability to avoid bad things and do good things. Avoid the cookies in the break room and do the workout. Avoid embellishing and do tell the truth. Avoid driving like a maniac, and do calm down! (That one is for me.) Those are great things, but if you’re trying to do or not do by your own willpower, then you will eventually grow tired and frustrated. Why? Because there is no life in behavior modification. Behavior modification always leads to condemnation when we fail and pride when we succeed. True, authentic life is found by being in relationship with Jesus.

Like any relationship, the closer you become, the more you start to act like the other person. You start to say things at the same time, or you leave the house in matching clothes without planning on it. It’s the same with Jesus—the more we enter into relationship by spending time with Him, the more we begin to desire what He desires, love what He loves, and follow His way of living.

Now, like any relationship, it’s not always easy. Some days it takes a lot to lay ourselves down and submit to another. It’s the same with Jesus. We can be under attack or just having one of those days, and we need to lay ourselves down again at the feet of Jesus. We need to pick up His cross and follow Him. When we give up ourselves to the control of Jesus, the result is always life.

I am convinced the way to bearing more self-control fruit in our lives is not in rallying our willpower but through simply staying connected in relationship. When we focus on our life-giving relationship with Jesus over willpower, we will experience His joy and freedom. Sometimes relationship will say, “Eat the cookie,” and that’s not wrong—Jesus loves a celebration. Perhaps the relationship says, “Tell the truth” because the story is hilarious and Jesus loves to laugh. The relationship might even say, “Skip the workout because I created your body, and it needs to rest today.” Life-giving relationship will say, “My way is peace, and I want you to have peace and create peace on the highway.” It is by the power of the Holy Spirit and by giving up control of our “self” to Jesus that we find true self-control.

Today, let’s not focus on having more self-control to behave the right way. Let’s tell Jesus, “I give You control of myself today. Through our relationship, may Your life be in me, and may I follow Your ways.”

Prayer

Jesus, today I lay down my selfish ways to follow You. Please forgive me for the times my life hasn’t reflected my relationship with You. Thank You that according to Your Word, when we give up our lives, we find new life in You. Please fill us fresh today with Your life and power. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For Further Reflection

1. Reflect on how you view self-control. Is it life-giving or not? If it brings feelings or thoughts of shame, ask Jesus to show you how He sees you.
2. Are there areas where your life isn’t reflecting that you’ve given Jesus control? What would it look like for Him to lead you into new life?