"S"-Secure and stabilize the marital attachment.

Now, when you look at the phrase "marital attachment," you may be thinking about the obvious—SEX! And yes, that is a huge part of it. It's not the only thing that makes up the phrase, though. Let me give you some context.

After someone has been the victim of infidelity, Intimacy is often a challenge. Even after committing to work on the relationship, forgive, or go to counseling. The thought of betrayal, anger, and other emotions will often appear here. The attempt to be intimate will turn into a Q&A session or an outburst. This is expected from both the offender and the spouse who experienced it. Keep fighting! This is a journey, not a destination. You've both committed to working it out, and it will work out if you don't give up.

I've had clients tell me that their intimacy, sexual and emotional, was better after the infidelity than it was before. I'm not surprised. When both husband and wife are reinvested in their relationship's success, they no longer take things for granted and focus on each other like they did in the beginning.

If your marriage is going to not just survive but thrive, you must lock in. There is a reason why, in Genesis, we see that there is a spiritual dynamic that takes place with sexual intimacy. Two people becoming one. Here are some tips that will help you secure and stabilize your marriage:

• Date: This is one of the most important building blocks for a thriving and fulfilling marriage. Most issues begin with couples not prioritizing spending time together or with only one of them being locked in for various reasons. None are more important than your first ministry—each other. Plan and prioritize your time together. Make it sacred.
  There are tons of things that you can do to reconnect emotionally, which should lead to sexual intimacy. You can check out our free resource if you need ideas.
• Shift the Atmosphere: If you are the one who broke the trust by committing infidelity, it should be your mission to create an atmosphere that is built on thoughtfulness, imagination, and forward movement. Use your imagination and what you know about your spouse to help build the bridge to connection and positive experiences. 1 Peter 3:7-9 gives us great insight into what God says about this. If you are the one who experienced the infidelity, this still applies to you also. Be open. Song of Solomon 1 & 2 are great chapters to get an understanding of the power of our imagination.
• Shorten your memory of each other's wrongs: This is so important and vital to the forward movement of your relationship. Don't allow this one mistake to snowball and bring other past hurts and wrongs up. If you committed the act, when your spouse is reacting and showing unexpected emotions, maybe because they have been triggered by something you said or did, this is not the time to remind them of something they did to you. Sit in your mess and continue to clean it up with grace and longsuffering. If you experienced infidelity, this is not a license for you to return the favor or use the event to manipulate your spouse. You are one. The goal should be to agree. Don't bring old baggage into your discussion.

These three tips are great ways to secure and stabilize your marriage by being intentional with them. If you have been executing the "C" and "A" of the method, you should be engaged in knowing yourself better and each other better. Now, you are working on building something great and new with the "S," securing and stabilizing your marital attachment. Work on utilizing these tips with intentionality. For our last day of this devotional, tomorrow we focus on the last letter in the method, "T," transform the truth. And by the way...Yes, Go have SEX!