We . . . No Longer Me! 

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”—Ephesians 5:31 (NKJV)     

By Darren Bennett

I have five amazing kids and a beautiful wife, but I can honestly say that marriage and family are works in progress. You never actually perfect it; instead, my goal is to work at it daily. 

One of the reminders I use to help me illustrate Christ-like love for my wife is very rudimentary, but it has kept me out of the dog house. Fellas, take note! 

What man wakes up in the morning and only puts on one shoe, shaves only half his face, combs only half his hair, and brushes only his bottom row of teeth? This odd question serves as a framework for how I view my wife according to the Bible. 

Let’s look at our key verse in context. Ephesians 5:28-31 (NKJV) states: “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Here’s the kicker: If husbands become “one flesh” with their wives, according to verse 31, then what they do for themselves they must be willing to do for her! Verses 28 and 29 illuminate my point. 

As I shared in the opening, we don’t typically neglect half of our body. We don’t put on one shoe or shave half of our face. In the same vein, I cannot neglect my wife. For example, if I go to the store and purchase something for myself, I am conscious of the fact that I am one flesh with my Christine, thus I always purchase something for her of equal or greater value! Guys, I must tell you that the application of this concept in every facet of our relationship has not only kept me far from the doghouse, but it has also allowed us to experience a deeper friendship and bond as we intentionally put each other first!

Husbands have a responsibility to lead in a selfless manner. Life is no longer to be lived as if we are still in the bachelor pad, consumed with our own interest. When we say, “I do,” we’re making a promise to love as Jesus loves and serve as Jesus served. “I do” translates into “we!” It’s two becoming one. 

DIG: Ask yourself, have I been living in my marriage as if it’s only about me and not we?

DISCOVER: What are some ways you might be neglecting your spouse? What are some ways you can celebrate how you’ve become one with your spouse?

DISPLAY: Continue to love your spouse in a selfless way and be a great example of Christ’s love for the Church.