Surrender

I’m struck by this story of Abraham and Isaac because I know how difficult it would be for me to sacrifice my own son if asked to by God.

It strikes me that I and many others have such a love for our children that that love can turn into subtle idolization. There is an old saying that if you want to view where a person's priorities are, you need only to look at their calendar and bank statements. If that is true, where does God appear in those two areas of our lives? How often are our children put in front of God in these same scenarios on regular occurrences? To explore this idea further, we will look at two relatable items for most parents: youth sports and discipline. While this thought experiment may get uncomfortable, we encourage you to embrace the emotions. In fact, what we often think of as anger, may actually be conviction from the Holy Spirit in an area of our life that needs attention. If you find yourself feeling those emotions, remember that it is never too late for course correction, and surrendering to the will of the Holy Spirit is the greatest move any of us can take as parents.

Modern Idolatry Case Study: Youth Sports - In today's society, it's common to see parents idolize their children. Many parents center their lives around their kids, allowing them to dictate schedules and priorities. None can be quite as pervasive as when children are engaged in youth sports. As someone who grew up on a baseball field, I am not naïve to the lessons taught in those environments, however, when the demands of such organizations pull us away from deepening our family’s walk with Christ, that seems to be a sacrifice most are willing to make.

While children are undoubtedly important, this excessive focus can become problematic. Our ultimate role as parents is to prepare our children to become independent and capable adults, prayerfully choosing to surrender their lives to the Lordship of Jesus. This is extremely difficult when the actions they see from their parents indicate that sports trump faith. Unfortunately, what they tend to see is that they themselves, our children, are the center of our universe and not our personal walk with Christ.

Raising Disciples, Not Idols - The second area worth considering is how the disciple-making process can easily be misplaced by our idolization of the children themselves. For example, when we found out we were having a son (after 4 daughters), the excitement level was through the roof. I often find myself looking at him and thinking about the future we will have together as father and son.

True parenting involves a goal that is extremely shocking to some fathers - we are to render ourselves obsolete. Now, before you begin sounding alarms and sending nasty grams, we should come back to the fundamental truth that as parents we are handpicked by God to guide children toward becoming responsible, independent members of society. We should aim to raise disciples of Christ rather than idols. Our faith and priorities should reflect our commitment to God, teaching our children by example to place God at the center of their lives.

Our children learn to be disciples of Christ by seeing discipleship in our individual journey. Take Abraham, for example, who had what could arguably be the most difficult call from God that any father would ever have to encounter, sacrificing his son. The irony in this situation is that if God had asked Abraham to sacrifice himself for his son, there isn’t a father alive who couldn’t relate to that; but that’s not the route God took. God wanted to test Abraham’s faith and knew that the greatest thing on earth that Abraham loved was his son, and, thus, the bounty was set. How Abraham responded was inspirational for sure, and, yet, there is a simple subtlety that cannot be overshadowed. Abraham was a disciple of God first and a father to Isaac second. You see, it all comes down to priorities and alignment. Abraham kept the alignment to the design that God desires for us all. Staying locked in on this mindset in the context of our relationships with our children will help us remain steadfast in following God at all times as the first priority; and that in itself will help keep us from elevating our children to idol status.

Questions to Consider

1. How can you ensure that your children's involvement in activities like youth sports does not overshadow their (and your) spiritual development and commitment to Christ?
2. Think about a recent situation where your children’s activities conflicted with a spiritual commitment. How did you handle it, and what might you do differently in the future to better align with God's priorities?