The Desert

Introduction

As a single, I want to know how to go to the Lord for everything I need. I want to know how to be strong in the Lord; grounded in the knowledge of His love. I want to be healthy alone and healthy in community - to be an interdependent blessing in the family of faith.

Like Paul knew contentment in plenty and in lack, there is something deep and profound that comes from the experience of knowing the Lord in the moments of desperation when there was no one else but Him. To experience Him as the One who sees you and will never leave you nor forsake you. To drink fully from His love. To have built a history with God, where you know deep in your core of His goodness and faithfulness and ever-present help in times of need. To be able to stand strong and healthy and whole, even if you find yourself in utter aloneness. To turn to Him in moments that tempt you greatly to escape into distractions. In those moments, something unseen, yet very real, is being built into your relationship with God. Instead of building a relationship with whatever distraction/escape you choose in unpleasant times of pain, fear, or loneliness, you learn to build a relationship with Him.

Devotional

“When there was no one else - that is where You showed me You are enough.”

I had put a lot of expectations on my surrounding community to be everything I needed for life as a single. God, in His grace and wisdom, led me into a desert (season) to be alone with Him, so I could get the order right. He is first. People are second. He brought a time where all I had was Him. I went into the season resisting aloneness with Him. I kept filling my time with friends and busyness, afraid of being alone for too long; afraid to feel loneliness.

During that time, I’m thankful the people around me were listening to God – in the things I was struggling with leading up to “the Desert”, they told me to go directly to Jesus. Honestly, it was shocking and almost hurtful when I was first told to go directly to Jesus. By myself? I felt abandoned by humans – the human connection I had depended on so much. You want me to go, physically alone, to meet Someone who is just Spirit? But I will still be physically alone! I was so stuck in that mindset.

But it was the best advice. I discovered Jesus from there. From the inside-out, He met me. Being strengthened in my spirit, finding that I am fully loved in my spirit, and finding that He is always with me in my spirit, trickled out into the physical. I found I was physically strengthened, loved, and not alone.

People would say, “You are not alone, Jesus is always with you!” and I would say to myself, “Ok, I’m not alone, I’m not alone, I’m not alone,” thinking that if I said it enough I would believe this counter-intuitive idea. But as I persevered in this truth, I transitioned to knowing it by experience. Now I don’t have to force myself to believe it anymore. Sometimes, I still have to choose to believe it when I don’t feel it, but I’ve already learned that it is an eternal, immovable truth.

Jesus became the number one priority of my heart. I cannot understand exactly how it happened, but it happened in the desert. I want Him to ever be there in first place.

When we always have people we can go to, sometimes, we can miss out on diving deeper into our relationship with God. However, sometimes life will take us into places where we are totally alone and if we let Him, God can help us learn to be satisfied when there is literally no one but Him. We can then bring what we have learned - that He is first and He is sufficient - into every season of life.

Talk with Jesus

As you read today’s verses, bring these questions to Jesus and talk with Him about them.

• Do I put human relationships before You? Who do I turn to first (a friend, a parent, a significant other, my church community, etc.)?
• Are there things I am holding onto that I need to surrender to You, in order to make space for You to be first in my life?

Prayer: (Pray only if you’re brave enough!) Jesus, I want You to be first place in my heart. Do whatever it takes to take over this position.