Unlocking Wisdom

How to Only Pick Battles Worth Fighting For

We can all use a big dose of wisdom, don’t you agree? People often think that wisdom and intelligence are one and the same. But they are not. In fact, there’s a big difference between the two. Someone can have a high IQ, yet at the same time not be wise. Or, someone with meager means can be an incredibly wise person. In fact, the Bible tells us that anyone can be wise by simply asking God to give them wisdom.

So what is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability to discern inner qualities and relationships—to be wise means you have insight, good sense, and keen judgment. Another definition that I have always thought shows the wisdom of God’s creation is that wisdom has to do with understanding and accepting the fundamental nature of things in life.

So, the next key we need to unlock the fences of defensiveness and contention around us is the key to unlocking our inner wisdom. This key looks a lot like a tree with roots deeply planted within our sense of self, our faith in God, and our identity as beloved.

When impulsivity, folly, or imperviousness begin to enter into our lives, we can not only lose our own sense of direction but can be blind to the way our decisions affect others, resulting in unkind behaviors and disrespect.

By unlocking and allowing wisdom to infiltrate our lives, we will be able to live the way Jesus meant us to live, as kind, loving, compassionate people of God.

The Bible says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” - Proverbs 19:11

Today, people get outraged over every minor irritation. I must say, social media makes this especially easy...with little accountability.

As we all know, our culture is deeply divided, and the lack of even being able to disagree agreeably seems to have faded into the sunset. Have you noticed that people’s fuses are increasingly shorter? Some people are quick to anger and slow to listen, which is the exact opposite of God’s character.

To be kind, especially in our polarizing world, one needs to be wise. That means we need to know when to speak up and when to be quiet. We need to know how to choose our words wisely instead of letting our uncontrolled emotions blurt out words that hurt others.

It means that we are peacemakers—preserving relationships instead of bulldozing people down. It also means that we need to know how to pick our battles and not be combative over any slight irritation or difference in opinion.

And having wisdom means we shower people with grace and mercy rather than having a self-righteous or judgmental attitude.

I like what Rick Warren said about this when he stated, “We’re all like tubes of toothpaste. Whatever’s inside of you comes out when you’re squeezed by immense pressure. Are you filled with anger or graciousness?”

When It Comes to Difficult People—Choose Wisdom, Empathy, and Grace

Do you have any “difficult” people in your life? At work, in your family, or even at your place of worship? How do you react when someone is angry, cranky, or judgmental—especially when you’re at a store, at a restaurant, or any public space?

Rick Warren once said, “My patience with mean or angry or judgmental folks increased greatly when a friend taught me to stop asking (in my mind), ‘What’s wrong with you?’ and start asking (in my mind), ‘What happened to you?’” I really like this quote from Rick Warren.

When you come across somebody that’s rough around the edges—grumpy, callous, mean, rude, or just tough to be around—take a deep breath, pause, and then ask yourself, “What happened to that person,” rather than angrily thinking, “What is wrong with that person?”

By doing this, you not only calm yourself down, but you start feeling empathy toward that challenging person, and you respond with grace.

If it’s someone you know (and not a stranger), you can even start a conversation with them by saying, “So, tell me your story; tell me about your life.” We need to realize that everyone has a story. And most people, if not all, have a messy story.

Think about your own life—the difficulties, the good, bad, and the ugly. When you engage the difficult person in conversation and show interest and grace, you may start to see the rough exterior layer start to come off.

What about you? Are you filled with anger or grace? Do you consider yourself wise, or are you found lacking in this area?

God's word says if we lack wisdom, we should ask for it. Let's ask for God's wisdom today.