WE ALL NEED HELP

HEART

Imagine you’ve been in a serious car accident and you’ve been rushed to the emergency room. Doctors and nurses run in to help. While frantically searching to see how badly you’re injured, a nurse presses on a broken rib, and you scream at the top of your lungs. A doctor pokes an open wound, and you swing your arms in agony. You want to push them away, but if you do, you know you might not survive. If you reject the care you need, even if you survive, you’ll live with the pain of unhealed wounds for the rest of your life.

You may already get the point I’m trying to make. Emotional and relational wounds work much the same way as physical trauma. If you’re hurting inside, and push away the help you need to heal, your heart and soul will struggle to survive. I don’t know what or who has hurt you in the past, but I’m sure that you’ve suffered some painful wounds. The greatest pain is often caused by broken relationships. Hurtful words and actions cut deep. Betrayal can break your trust. As an imperfect person, you’ve caused others this kind of pain, too. As I said before, we men often push help away. Our unhealed wounds can make us defensive when people get too close. We don’t want our weaknesses to be exposed, because that might mean we have to face the hard work of healing. Ultimately, a man needs to decide, “Will I become a man, or remain a wounded child in my pain?”

Along with fatherhood comes the call of manhood. And an important part of manhood is embracing reality, openly acknowledging our wounds, and seeking the help we need. Finding help and healing makes us stronger and better, allowing us to develop healthy relationships with others, especially those we love.

This might look like sitting with a therapist, a pastor, or a close friend. Let’s sum up the point. If we don’t get help, our wounds will never heal. When our wounds don’t heal, we overreact when people get close to them. Sometimes we even act in embarrassing ways toward people who are simply trying to love us. Refusing to deal with our pain is immature and keeps us from developing healthy relationships with others. I don’t know about you, but I want to be the kind of man who has healthy relationships, especially with my own family.

God has created us to live in community. That is an immovable fact. In today’s verses, you’ll see some of his instructions on how to live well together, and some reminders of his care for us when things don’t go well. There is no one who knows better than Jesus how to redeem a nasty betrayal or deep wound. He’s lived it. For you. He lived your pain with you. You are not alone.

On the path to mature manhood, please remember: It’s OK to seek help. It’s more than just OK; it’s essential to your growth and healing. Some choose to sit wounded on the sidelines, but I’m believing more for you and your future. Don’t let your weaknesses take you out of the game; use them to make your game stronger. Embrace reality, find strong teammates, and become the great man that you’re meant to be.

WORK

What, or who has caused pain in your life? Sometimes, even feeling ignored or unseen can cause wounds that need healing. It’s not about blaming anyone in your past, it’s simply a matter of growing into the best man you can be.

What steps have you taken to find healing in those areas where you feel wounded? Has that helped you to feel more flexible with your emotions, or more stable in general? Do you need to take another step, or are you on a good path? If you haven’t tried to heal, what’s holding you back?

Consider letting a friend or mentor help you in the process of healing. Who could that friend be? If you don’t know who you can turn to, consider asking your local pregnancy resource center (PRC) to connect you with a mentor. PRCs aren’t just there for moms or moms-to-be. They exist to support the entire family. Another great resource is a local church. The folks there will not be perfect. But they should be able to help with tools so you can get to know the One who is.