God's Vision for Sisterhood

Friendship Restored

I rolled over in my bed, eyes pierced by the sun coming through the shade, and noticed my roommate hadn’t stirred this morning after a party the night before. It stung to watch her rest because my heart was still raw over one silly, offhand comment she had made. I also knew she would be oblivious to my hurt unless I spoke up. I had gone to sleep with the unprocessed hurt, allowing my dreams to be consumed with anxiety, and still awoke with the ache. This ache whispered a pervasive lie: I must be a burden to her.

As she woke up and greeted me cheerfully, my heart raced because I knew the call before me was to be honest. I confessed I had not slept well on account of a series of stress-inducing dreams, all provoked by one comment from the night. As I mentioned the comment, she fell into a soft, regretful laugh, and she immediately apologized, “I am so sorry. I did not mean that.” Her nonchalant reaction reminded me to breathe and prompted me to release my fear. “That’s okay.” I smiled back.

As a deeply sensitive person, I had spent much of my life not expressing when my friends had hurt my feelings because I did not trust that my friendships could endure those tough conversations. I truly doubted whether my friends cared for me enough to stick around when our love called for forgiveness and restoration. Yet in that lighthearted, sunlit moment with my roommate, I was moved by how meaningful restoration is when it is small and simple, instead of being an all-encompassing, dramatic experience that the friendship can’t handle.

In fact, I am convinced of the strength a friendship can have because of the way moments like this have taught us to practice forgiveness, allowing it to carry us through regular, honest dialogue about our hurts, instead of deepening and convoluting wounds.

Sister, when was the last time you were able to forgive someone and, because of it, deepen your friendship? Perhaps it was a coworker or a neighbor. Maybe it was even a family member, such as a sister or a sister-in-law. It could have even been your best friend, a friendship that has deepened ever since you chose to forgive her or him.

These instances of forgiveness are worth treasuring because they call us to remember, as daughters, that we can only forgive because we are first forgiven by the Father. We are brought back to this central truth in this week’s scripture (Luke 11:4). We first ask the Father to forgive our sins, and then we can forgive those who have sinned against us.

These two steps cannot be separated from each other. Our movements toward reconciliation with others are an extension of our identity as daughters, where we are brought in close to the Father and invited to meet Him and experience His compassion. Only then can we begin to practice forgiveness, and not just in catastrophic moments. In the daily moments of friendship, we remember how intimately we are loved first. This Love draws us closer to understanding and tenderness toward one another and creates a space where communion is restored and debts are forgiven.

When we become more aware of our daughterhood and more attuned to how the Father looks at us, we are liberated to be honest with each other and to forgive each other because restoration is His vision for our sisterhood.

Reflection Questions

• Is regular and honest dialogue a part of your close friendships, even when the dialogue includes conflict or confrontation over miscommunications and hurt feelings? If not, do you wish it were?
• Does forgiveness come easily to you, or do you tend to ruminate over tensions, exacerbating them? Resolve to be direct or let things go today.

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