Loving Others—Dents and All

John 13:34 is such a simple scripture, but it says so much! Jesus instructs us to love one another as He loves us. How does God love us? He takes us the way we are and helps us become all that we should be. So, the question is: Are we willing to do this for other people?

My husband, Dave, did it for me, and had he not loved me unconditionally, I probably wouldn’t be in ministry today. See, God wants to use people to help other people; however, in order for Him to do so, we have to be willing to love those who are hard to love. When Dave prayed for a wife, he asked God to give him someone who needed help, and God certainly answered his prayer because I needed a lot of help.

I like to share this example. Many years ago, I shopped at a grocery store that featured a cart containing cans of food that were dented or missing their labels. Everything in the basket cost 10 cents, but if you bought a can without its label, you had no idea what you’d get.

Back then, we were always short on money, so I would buy several cans hoping for peaches, applesauce, canned vegetables, or something else we would enjoy. Occasionally I got something good, but sometimes I got dog food, cat food, or something we would never eat.

When I chose dented cans, of course, I got the ones with the smallest dents. And I believe we often take the same approach with people. Everyone comes with some dents in their personality, some characteristics we may not view as positive. In addition, people aren’t always labeled, so to speak, which means we may think we’re getting one thing…but end up with something entirely different.

Like those cans, I had lots of dents because of the abuse in my past. And Dave definitely got something different than he thought he’d get! But thankfully, Dave chose to love me until God healed me and my dents. The truth is, I think very few men would have done what Dave did. Most people are too addicted to their own comfort to be willing to suffer in order to give God time to heal another person. But Dave was a godly man, and an unusually patient one. He learned early in our relationship to enjoy the parts of me that were enjoyable and turn the ones that weren’t over to God. He knew he couldn’t change me, so he prayed for me and went about enjoying his life.

I truly believe a key to being able to love someone who is hard to love is to enjoy the good parts of that person while you are waiting for God to deal with the bad parts. You may think, Joyce, there are no good parts of the person I am dealing with. But that simply isn’t true because everyone has some good qualities. If we’ve focused on their negative aspects consistently for too long, we may stop seeing the good parts, but they are there if we really look for them.

God wants us to enjoy our life, but being miserable because someone else has problems doesn’t help them or us. I was unhappy, but Dave wouldn’t let me make him unhappy. Although this infuriated me, it also helped set me free.

In the end, Dave was so loving and peaceful that I eventually wanted what he had and got serious enough in my relationship with God to start facing my issues and receiving healing. That’s exactly what you can be to the difficult people in your life. So I encourage you: Love others the way God loves you, because it could make all the difference in someone’s life.

Adapted from the book Loving People Who Are Hard to Love by Joyce Meyer. Copyright 2022 by Joyce Meyer. Published by Hachette Book Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

Prayer Starter:

“Lord, I want to learn to love others for the good in them, even if all I see at the moment is the bad. Please, let me show Your love through my attitude and actions, and give me the desire and patience to do what You are asking me to do. Help me to love others the way You love me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”