Identity

When we’re little, we all have expectations of who we will become, what our lives will look like, and how long it will take to get there. As young adults, we’re told to “find ourselves before we settle down”, and “it’s ok if that takes a little while.” All too quickly, it seems like our time runs out. It becomes taboo to still be single and we’re made to feel less than because of our relationship status.

In my early 20s, I longed for my relationship status to change from single to married by the end of the decade. I felt like I’d somehow be less of a woman, professional, adult, and even less of a Christian if I entered my 30s still single. I exhausted myself trying to meet the changing expectations of the world.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was allowing culture to define me. If society said I was less of a woman without a man, I believed it. When society said that true maturity comes from having a spouse and children, I bought into it. When I didn’t meet society’s timeline for these things to happen, I felt empty, worthless, hopeless, and full of shame. I felt like I had nothing to offer others because my relationship status was single. 

Then I learned what God says about me in His Word and I chose to believe it. He calls me worthy, chosen, and fully loved as His child. Stepping into who God says I am changed everything. My life was no longer about meeting expectations set forth by others. My life became about embracing who God says I am and walking the path He has laid out for me. Today, my identity lies in the One who created me, not in my relationship status. As a single woman in her 30s, I know I have value because God says so, and that is enough. 

Singleness is a label set forth by the world, but it’s not an indicator of who you are or the value you hold. God’s Word says that you are a masterpiece, made in His image. You were made on purpose for a purpose. You are not incomplete without a spouse, and you can make a lasting impact for the kingdom of God regardless of your relationship status. You are chosen. You are valuable. You are precious to God.