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Follow Your Noes

Ever been the least cool person in the room? I have—many, many times. 

A few years into my music career, I was invited to join a panel of artists in the San Francisco Bay Area to talk about making a living doing what we love. I was the least cool person on the panel. It wasn’t even close. The panel was made up of a graffiti artist, a poet with exceedingly cool hair, another even cooler poet with better hair who specialized in spoken word, and a light painter (literally, she painted using light).

The unofficial theme of the night was rejection. Not because organizers had set it up that way but because the panel discussion kept gravitating toward stories in which artists had been rejected.

I told a pair of stories I hoped might get folks laughing, since there hadn’t been much laughter yet.  Laughter is how I know people are having a good time. Neither story went over very well. Immediately after I wrapped up the second story, one of the poets pushed back pretty hard against my humor, making the point that the difficulty of being an artist isn’t a joking matter.

“I’ve submitted poems to the Atlantic more times than I can count. Every time, all I get is silence. They’re not interested in real art from real artists.”

There were nods and “mm-hmms” all around. Folks were really resonating. And then the inevitable happened, but apparently the room wasn’t quite prepared for it.

An audience member who had been silent all evening raised her hand and said, “This question is for the poet in the middle. Have you considered that your poetry might not be good enough for the Atlantic? Have you ever asked why they don’t like it?”

The room turned on that audience member with a vengeance. Judging by the intensity of the stares and grumbling in the room, you’d think she had intentionally injured a puppy. Of course, she’d done nothing of the kind. She simply had the audacity to suggest that seeing your work  rejected or critiqued might mean more than “the world is a harsh place.” Voices were raised and fingers wagged. Before things tipped over into a full-blown shouting match, I picked up the microphone and said, “I honestly think it might be worth exploring the question a bit. I’ve learned a lot from conversations with people who didn’t like my stuff.”

Rejection, in any form, just doesn’t feel very good. But, depending on what I do with them, rejection and denial can be essential elements of growth. It helps to hear the occasional “no.”

Jesus experienced the ultimate rejection. He was tried, convicted, and crucified by those he loves dearly. Yet, he has never abandoned us. He has never forsaken us. He has never stopped loving us. 

Rejection and being told “no” should be a welcome part of the process of life, business, ministry, art-making, and growth of all kinds. Getting a “no” rarely means the end of the road. There are unique gifts that accompany a “no.” It can be a really good starting point, pushing me to rethink things I figured were finished or apply myself in situations where I’d actually settled for a second-best effort.

“No” pushes me to look for a way around, to find new angles from which to expand beyond my existing skill set and capacities. “No” challenges me to look inward. What can I change, not only about the work, but about myself and my life? 

Best of all, sometimes “no” is a tremendous gift from God. It’s his way of letting you know he has something else planned for you. He gives you the opportunity to trust him to show you how to make the best of a “No.”

Respond 

1. What has rejection taught you? 
2. Describe a time you were rejected and then bounced back. 
3. How has God encouraged you during times of rejection?