Find Freedom from Shame – Part 2

Secrecy, silence and judgement cause shame to grow exponentially, says American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host Brene Brown.

God deals with our shame by shining the spotlight. His first question when Adam and Eve  hid from Him was: “Where are you?”. God already knew, but he was lovingly getting Adam to acknowledge his position.

1. Instead of secrecy, find freedom in honesty

Professor Brown’s research indicates shame feels the same but speaks differently to men and women. For women, it says: ‘Do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat.’ Shame tells men: ‘Never be perceived as weak.’

The word ‘shame’ means ‘to cover or hide’. Adam and Eve’s way of dealing with shame occurs today: ‘I can’t let anyone know that my life is actually not perfect, my Instagram story is fiction, or that I have struggles and challenges.’ Covering up keeps others from knowing us, and us from knowing ourselves. Things do not get better. 

God urges us to ‘walk in the light’. A moment of honesty with God could bring you untold freedom.

2. Instead of silence, find freedom in relationships

The natural response to shame is to keep quiet and not talk about it. ‘What will people think?’ ‘What will they say?’ 

The Bible tells us how to receive forgiveness and healing:

• Talk to God to obtain forgiveness
• Talk to a trusted person to obtain healing

If you have had repetitive shame experiences, particularly in your developmental years, it may be enmeshed in your identity. It may take more than one chat with a trusted Christian leader to find freedom. A Christian counsellor or psychologist can help you establish a healthy sense of who you are. God often outworks the healing process through trained, professional caregivers. 

3. Instead of judgement, find freedom in mercy

Guilt focuses on the behaviour while shame focuses on the person. Guilt: ‘I made a mistake.’ Shame: ‘I am a mistake.’

At the cross, our sin (behaviour) was judged, but we (the person) were shown mercy. God made garments of skins and clothed Adam and Eve; today the Holy Spirit takes the work of Jesus and applies it to our hearts.

Research shows that if you put your head down you feel shame, but if you lift your head up you do not feel shame. God does not remind us of our shame. The Holy Spirit applies Jesus’ finished work of the Cross to our hearts and reminds us we are righteous!