Loving Well in a Broken World by Lauren CasperExemple

One of my dearest friends is a woman from Afghanistan who moved to the United States as a young adult and married a man my husband went to college with. After living on the same street for many years, we now live on opposite ends of the county, but we work together at a local bakery and see each other any weekend our schedules allow us to.

Throughout our friendship she’s taught me more than she probably realizes. We spend equal amounts of time talking about the cultural differences between Afghanistan and America as we do recounting our favorite episodes of Friends and laughing ourselves silly. I’ve learned what it was like to grow up under the Taliban, and the challenges faced by girls seeking education in that environment. She’s listened to me reminisce about growing up in California and the culture shock of being transplanted to Virginia (though it’s laughably mild compared to the culture shock she’s experienced). She’s taught me how to make naan, though I can never get mine to turn out as well as hers does, and I bake birthday cakes for her kids. Each time I leave her presence, I walk away richer for it.

When the news reports that bombs have exploded in Kabul, I no longer change the channel but grieve the destruction of my friend’s hometown and the loss of her former neighbors. When refugees are vilified in the news or in conversation, I am resolute in my defense of them. When racist comments are made about people of Middle Eastern descent, it stings, and I know how ignorant and ridiculous xenophobia is. This is the power of coming together—it creates friendships that erase the illusion of us versus them.

When we step out of our bubbles and share our experiences, food, culture, histories, hopes, and dreams, it becomes obvious—there is no them, there is only us. This can be shown in the little things like breaking naan together, visiting churches outside your denomination, and inviting the lonely kid over after school. And it’s in the big things like learning a new language or starting a nonprofit. When we choose togetherness, when we scale walls and cross borders, we are reminded that we are all human and all deserving of second chances, friendship, and love. The beautiful side effect of coming together is the cultivation of empathy and seeing strangers become neighbors.