The New Loneliness: Nurturing Connection When You Feel IsolatedNäide

Day 4: The Loneliness of Suffering and Loss: Understanding Why You’re Here

Perhaps you’ve asked at one time or another why God would allow you or someone you love to suffer. In their book 10 Essentials for New Christians, Stan Jantz and Bruce Bickel explain it this way:

God created a perfect world without sin and without suffering, but it was a world where choice existed…Because humanity chose to disobey God, sin entered the world, and with it suffering and evil…Because God is altogether holy, he is not capable of causing suffering, but he does allow it. While that may seem harsh, think of it this way. If God did not allow suffering and evil, he would have to destroy everything evil that causes suffering, including us! But out of his great love and mercy, God not only allows us to live, but he has given us a way to get back into a right relationship with him (see Romans 5:6-11).

Why does God allow suffering? Because if He were to eliminate it, He would have to destroy everything evil, including mankind. You and I sin, and that causes suffering to us and to others. Sinful people (and that’s all of us, according to Romans 3:23) hurt others. Sinful people drive drunk and swerve into another lane and kill others. Sinful people make mistakes and do things they later regret. Sinful people think of themselves first and hurt others in relationships. Humans, another word for sinners, are capable of causing suffering through mistakes, negligence, ignorance, and selfishness. So, why does God allow suffering? Because God is gracious and has decided not to bring this present world to an end just yet. And God’s desire is that our suffering will drive us to find Him as the answer and antidote to all suffering.

Loved, Not Abandoned

God promises He will not leave us to suffer alone. Yet abandonment by someone you trusted (like a parent or a spouse) can make you vulnerable to thoughts that God might abandon you too. I’ve often imagined that to be abandoned by someone you love would be bad enough. But to wonder whether you’ve been abandoned by God must be the loneliest feeling on earth. I am convinced today that because of God’s great love for us, and His promises in His Word, that will never happen.

God's God This

When things don’t go your way, remember how much God loves you. When prayers aren’t answered as you had hoped, and when He keeps you in a holding pattern where you are dependent upon Him for the air in your lungs, the health in your body, and the ability to get out of bed each morning, remember He still has a plan—and it might be more about drawing you closer to Him than about what you’re praying for.

Because we live in a world where we get instant search results on the internet or our phones, instant pain relief from certain medications, instant heated food from our microwaves, and instant access to a myriad of streaming services all with the click of a button, we certainly find it more difficult to wait upon God for His timing, which today can feel slower than ever. Yet God’s ways and His timing continue to be perfect (Psalm 18:30). Even when the world seems to be racing by us, God is still at work, steadily and perfectly bringing about His best for our lives.

Are you willing to stay in whatever season of uncertainty you are in right now if it keeps you closer to God’s heart than ever? Are you willing to go through more dark or uncertain times if it reveals to you more of His presence, His provision, and His protection? And if it means He is doing a work in you that will help you minister to others in more compassionate ways (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)? I’ve learned by now that God will never take anything from you without giving you something better. That is how much He loves you. Trust Him, my friend. When it seems He’s far off or not doing anything, know without a doubt He has you right where He wants you—up next to His heart.

You are not alone in your suffering or loss. You are being empowered by the One who is molding and shaping you into a closer representation of His Son.

Spend some time in prayer thanking God for your present circumstances. By thanking Him in all things, you are living out His will for you (1Thessalonians 5:18).