Engaged With Expectations: Couples Engagement DevotionsNäide

Building a Home Together

As my husband and I got settled in our new home, it felt like all I did was clean and organize.

“I’m just so overwhelmed. I feel like the cleaning never ends.” A few tears fell as I glanced at our sink full of dirty dishes.

My husband rubbed my back. “Babe, I don’t want you to spend all day cleaning, either. Let me know how I can help.”

Help.

A four-letter word that sounded so simple, yet was so hard to ask for. Asking my husband for help with cleaning felt like I was failing as a wife.

In Proverbs 31:10-31, the Bible describes a wife of noble character. The Proverbs 31 woman worked, raised children, invested in real estate, and gave to the needy. How can a wife do all those things?

Even the Proverbs 31 woman asked for help. Proverbs 31:15 says she planned the day’s work for her servant girls.

I realized I had some unrealistic expectations of what it meant to be a wife. Just because I was a wife didn’t mean I had to clean everything. I wasn’t a maid. And it was okay to ask my husband for help.

As you prepare to live together, discuss the common household tasks and responsibilities below and who will be responsible for each task.

Household tasks and responsibilities:

• Laundry
• Cooking
• Cleaning
• Doing the dishes
• Taking out the trash
• Vacuuming or sweeping the floor
• Other deep cleaning (like dusting and cleaning the bathrooms)
• Fixing common repairs

You and your spouse are a team. For all the ladies who dread cleaning, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Consider what your husband can do, or if you can afford to hire a cleaner.

If you’re struggling with housework, remember that cleaning is one way you can show love to your spouse. Every day you do the dishes when you don’t feel like it—especially when it’s your spouse’s turn—is an act of love.

Discussion Questions

1. Who will be responsible for each household task?
2. How often do you expect the house to be cleaned?

Prayer

God, thank you for blessing us with a home to live in. Show us how to clean our place together, and how to serve each other out of love. In Jesus’ name, amen.