Engaged With Expectations: Couples Engagement DevotionsNäide

How to Love Your Spouse

When my husband and I were engaged, we read several marriage books to understand God’s definition of love. Both of us had a past before we gave our lives to Jesus, and our experience with “love” was based on hookups, an intense feeling, and a physical connection.

What was love supposed to look like in a godly and healthy marriage?

In Ephesians 5:25-26, God tells us marriage is supposed to represent the love Jesus has for the church. God showed us what love is by sacrificing his only son to die on the cross for us.

Love is a sacrifice—where we sacrifice our own needs and wants for the other person. Sacrificial love is also known as agape love, where we serve the other person unconditionally without expecting anything in return.

How do we practically show this kind of sacrificial love in marriage?

1 John 3:18 illustrates that we are called to love with actions and in truth, and not just words or speech. We can say we love our spouse, but if we don’t show love by our actions, our words mean nothing.

As I write this devotion, I’ve been married for four years. I’ve experienced love through my husband’s actions at the peak of our “honeymoon phase,” but I’ve never felt more loved through pregnancy and motherhood.

My husband, Jeff, held my hand at each doctor’s appointment and ultrasound. He kissed my pregnant belly, prayed over our baby, and told our son bedtime stories in the womb. After our son was born, my husband plays with him and takes him for walks so I can rest. Jeff isn’t afraid to change a poopy diaper, and he doesn't mind cooking dinner after a long day at work.

It’s easy to love your spouse on date nights and romantic vacations. But true, sacrificial love is expressed through your actions, especially when it’s inconvenient.

Discussion Questions

1. What do you think love should look like in marriage?
2. How do you see sacrificial love displayed between couples around you?
3. How do you show sacrificial love in your relationship?

Prayer

God, thank you for showing us what love is through Jesus. Show us how to lay down our lives for each other and how to love each other even when it’s hard. In Jesus’ name, amen.