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Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah GreshSample

Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah Gresh

DAY 5 OF 6

Day 5: The LORD is your STRENGTH!

When our marriages are struggling, it’s easy to feel rejected. Rejection can be one of God’s good tools.

We see that so clear in the life of King David.

Remember, he did not immediately rise to the throne of Israel after he was anointed by the prophet Samuel as a very young man. Instead, he had to endure many years of testing and schooling to prepare to serve as king. And one of his more difficult training courses may have been Rejection 101.

The reigning king, Saul, consumed by jealousy, chased David into hiding for over a decade. Saul’s rejection of him was a divine test to see if David would believe God and walk in the truth of His word.

David wasn’t just rejected. He was a reject. And he lived with rejects. The Bible records that “everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him” (1 Samuel 22:2). David welcomed them and trained them, gradually building an army and a community of families.

And they eventually rejected him too.

It happened this way: After a fierce battle with a people called the Amalekites, David and his men returned to their camp in the town of Ziklag to find it had been burned and looted by the enemy. Every wife and child was gone—taken alive. That’s when the man who had been rejected by his king, rejected by his people, and even rejected by their enemies (1 Samuel 27, 29) was rejected by the rejects. The men leaned into their grief by blaming David for what had happened. They even talked about stoning him (1 Samuel 30:1–6).

How did David respond to this test during his coursework in rejection? Did he tell the angry men, “Hey, I’m hurting too!” Did he beg them to heal his broken heart? Or argue with them and blame them in turn? Or run off to find others who might commiserate with him?

No. I Samuel 30:6 tells us that “David strengthened himself in the LORD His God.”

In this vulnerable moment, David reached out to God for strength. He got alone with the God of the universe to strengthen himself. Some Bible versions (notably the King James Version) say that he “encouraged” himself in the Lord. When many would just give in to the sadness, he determined to be strong. And many would try to draw strength and encouragement from other people; David went directly to God in prayer.

You can do that too. Rejection is your invitation to turn to God for strength.

Will you?

In case you are wondering, strengthening yourself in the Lord does not result in becoming so heavenly-minded that you are no earthly good. After David turned to the Lord in his distress, he was able to respond to what was going on around Him in the power of the Spirit. And do you know what he did?

Rather than running from those who had rejected him or lashing out at them, David invited them to remember who they were. He essentially said, “You are husbands. You are fathers. You are warriors!” And then he invited them to act like it.

They went after the Amalekites and retrieved every wife and child.

They got their families back!

And that, of course, is your ultimate goal. After you have soaked up the strength of the Lord, He will prompt you to get to work saving your marriage. Hopefully, it will be with your husband’s help after he has been strengthened in the Lord himself.

Pray God’s Word: Lord, strengthen me. I desire to spend time alone with you before I get busy fixing everything. Give me the discipline and the courage to do that. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Day 4Day 6

About this Plan

Happily Even After: 5 Tools to Heal Your Marriage, by Dannah Gresh

This reading plan uses excerpts from Dannah Gresh’s book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage. It’s for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. God has already equipped you for this trial. Dannah will point your gaze toward five powerful tools you need to participate in God’s redemption for your marriage.

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