Sex Is Good a 5-Day Devotional for Wives by Debra CheekSample

We Should Think About Sex

Scripture: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed - Genesis 2:25

Do you think about sex? Honestly, do you? I’m asking you this question because it’s the very question my husband asked me about 20 years ago. I remember it vividly because he genuinely wanted to know.

Without hesitation, I looked him directly in the eyes and said nonchalantly, “Not really.”

I thought something was wrong with him because he thought about it a lot, and I’m sure he thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t think about it at all.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I did have some thoughts about sex.

I thought that it was something that we didn’t need to discuss. I’d grown up being taught that sex was something “bad girls” did. It had been drilled into my mind that sex was dirty and shameful, and I couldn’t shake the shame attached to sex even though I was married. My distorted views regarding sex caused me to minimize this vital aspect of our marriage.

The Bible says that Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed, and I believe that is to be the pattern for every husband and wife. To do this, we must be honest about our feelings regarding sex.

And we have to talk about it.

Our silence around marital sex is creating space for the enemy to destroy our marriages. Often one partner feels that their needs are being ignored while the other partner has shame or trauma that impacts their desire for sex. And because communication is lacking, the result is simply frustration for both partners.

Being naked and unashamed isn’t about not having on clothes. It’s about being honest and transparent without fear, judgment, and, yes, shame. We must build relationships within our marriages to share our hesitations, fears, wants, and needs about sex.

Reflection:

Is there a traumatic experience or long-held belief that hinders your ability to communicate transparently about sex with your spouse? How can you share it safely (journal, spouse, trusted friend, counselor)? *Please consider professional counseling to address significant issues impacting your life and marriage, such as trauma, abuse, and pornography*

What is one step you could take to be naked and unashamed?