Day 2: Discovery or Obsession?

As you take the next step in your relationship, you are going to discover two things: in some ways, the person is better than you thought, and in other ways, they are worse. As the “rose-colored glasses” chemical wash on your brain begins to fade, you start to see them more clearly. Maybe you see genuine qualities that you missed in the initial stages of attraction, and you are pleasantly surprised. Most likely, you see that they are flawed and human.

When we are in the discovery phase of a relationship, we tend to automatically think, “How can this person make my life better?” Sadly, this is the fastest way to ruin a relationship. Remember, marriage is two servants in love engaged in a ruthless battle to out-serve each other. Set yourself up for success by trying to proceed through the discovery phase wisely and at a slow pace. New relationships can be like car crashes; the faster you go, the more damage is done. Discovery is a process. Be secure enough in who you are in Christ to see your value and not be afraid that they will get away while you take time to discover who they are.

Rip up the list of impossible standards and consider whether or not the two of you can grow together.