Day 7: Releasing Shame

Reeling at the news, I directed many questions inward. These included, “How could I not have known?” “What kind of person am I to have been so blind?”

I felt shame primarily due to how I thought people now saw me. The happy family façade was one I had worked so long and diligently to maintain, and it was now clear to all that it was just an image I had tried to uphold.

Over the years, the Holy Spirit has reminded me that we are each responsible for our actions. Even though they may impact us, the choices that others make are still their choices. When we stand before the judgment seat of Christ, the Lord will not call us to account for our actions and decisions as a couple but as individuals.

Holding on to this truth helps us to keep our heads up in our communities, even if our community is small. God is not surprised by this plot twist of marital infidelity. He has prepared us to handle it even though we did not expect to deal with this issue.

There is a verse in John 15 that can carry us through some rough times when shame feels like it could win out in our lives. Jesus tells His disciples these powerful words: "You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you ." David speaks of God as the "One who lifts my head" in the Psalms. God has already completed the supernatural work for us. We do not have to listen to the words of the enemy of our souls, words that want us to be buried in shame.

In faith, through our relationship with Jesus, our knowledge that we are chosen by God, holy and beloved, and leaning on the Holy Spirit as the One who comforts us and guides us into all truth, we can release the shame of another's actions, and live in confidence in our God-given identity.

Applications:

• Stay in the Word and prayer. I cannot reiterate enough how important this is! God provides you with strength, hope, peace, and joy here. On the days when you need a pick-me-up, it'll most likely, and most often, come from scripture.
• Surround yourself with people who will help you and encourage you. Ask the Holy Spirit for discernment to know who the people in your community are and who you can trust to walk through this season with you.
• Take the first step to re-enter the community. Lowering your head and hiding from the real world feels easy but at some point, you will need to take the first step to return to the community. After that first step, it gets easier.