Healthy Practices Of Ministry CouplesSample

Whatever The Cost
By Herbert & Tiffany Cooper of People’s Church

Several years ago I (Tiffany) was shopping for a new dining room table. After narrowing it down to two options, I selected what I thought was the perfect fit. The table looked beautiful and appeared well-made. Sadly, within a year the phrase “you get what you pay for” echoed in my head as the chairs fell apart and the table warped down the middle. If only I had paid a higher price for the table with the greater value, I would have saved myself time, frustration, and money.

The same is true in marriage. If you desire a strong marriage, it will come at a high price. Great marriages don’t just happen; they are a product of two people who are willing to pay whatever the price to invest their best. It’s easy to dress up a marriage to look good on the outside but just like my first table, it will eventually fall apart. Since the day we said “I do” we have paid a high price in our marriage. It’s not what’s best for “me” but instead, what’s best for “we”.

We have shared goals for our marriage, our family, and our lives. In order for these goals to be achieved, we set specific, non-negotiable priorities. For instance, we have an end goal to grow old together and watch our grandkids play in the backyard as we hold hands drinking coffee. If we’re going to reach our end goal, we must be intentional not to let the endless activities of life sidetrack us. If we don’t give our best to one another daily, we will begin to live two separate lives and our marriage will become an afterthought.

You have two choices. You can cover a broken marriage to look good and pay a high price of pain, disappointment, and heartbreak. Or, you can pay a high price of doing whatever the cost to have a thriving marriage. Either way, you will pay a price. We have a beautiful marriage but it came at a high price. We had to kill selfishness, heal from past hurts, set boundaries, disappoint people, and allow God to work in our lives. Because of the price we were willing to pay first, we now experience deep love, commitment, incredible happiness, and constant support with each other.

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate the overall health of your marriage? What areas do you need to focus on to see that number raised?

2. Are you both willing to have hard conversations about things that are causing your marriage to be less than what you desire?