Getting Dating RightSample

Getting Relationships Right

It’s safe to say that we all want great relationships. We want our relationships to be fun, meaningful, trusted, and safe. That’s a beautiful desire—a God-given one, actually!

But, it’s also safe to say that most of the deepest pain and brokenness we’ve experienced has come from relationships gone wrong. A romantic relationship that ended in heartbreak. A situation with someone who was supposed to be safe and was not. A friend who betrayed you.

We all long for relational depth and intimacy, but because we don’t know how to get it right, we end up cynical, numb, and deeply lonely.

The good news? There’s a better way. A way to healing, connection, and relationships that make life incredibly beautiful and meaningful! So, keep reading.

To show you the way, we’ve got to go back to the basics to understand our purpose and see how other people come into that picture. So, we’re going to the words of Jesus—the Savior King and Son of God. Here’s what He said matters most:

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 NIV

Jesus is saying that the greatest calling of our lives is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. The entirety of the Old Testament—all of God’s laws and the promises spoken by the prophets—is to this end.

And in case you didn’t pick it up right away, this whole “greatest calling of our lives” thing takes place in the context of relationships! It is all about relationships. Our relationship with God and our relationships with others. The order matters.

For the rest of this day, we’re going to explore a foundational truth that sets the tone for everything else we’re going to talk about.

You have to get your relationship with God right—before you get a relationship with a guy or a girl right.

Why? Simply put, because God Himself is love. It’s not just what He does; it’s who He is. Separated from God, love and relationships are, at best, a shadow of what they could be and, at worst, a dangerous counterfeit.

To explain, we have to talk about the theological truth of the Trinity that shows up on the very first pages of our Bibles.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:26-27 NIV

God says, “Let us make …”

Something you need to know about God is that He has eternally existed as a community. That’s why Christians refer to God as the Trinity, a word that describes the intimate relationship between, and three-in-one nature of, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Meaning: the very core of God’s nature is an eternal, loving relationship.

This is why John, a student of Jesus, writes, “God is love.” Love isn’t just something God does; it’s who He is.

If God is love, if His very nature is relational, then attempting real, loving relationships without the Source is silly and will produce less-than-ideal results. We need to be connected to the Source—just like a lamp needs to be plugged into an outlet in order to shine light.

How can you get connected to God? How can your relationships with others flow out of the deep well of a relationship with your Maker?

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:6-7 NIV

We get connected to God through Jesus. So get to know Jesus! If you know Him, you know God. And you know love.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16 NIV

Hopefully, you’re starting to see that divorced from the Source, our version of love is woefully lacking. Because love that’s built on a foundation of positive feelings, personal pleasure, and pain avoidance is not real love at all. Don’t exchange what’s real for a counterfeit. Don’t get duped. Get connected to the Source.

Get your relationship with God right. When you do, getting a relationship with a guy or girl right becomes a whole lot simpler.

Challenge: Since the greatest calling of our lives is wrapped up in relationships, invite a friend to do this Plan with you. You can process what you’re learning, pray for each other, and hold each other accountable to staying the course!