Sideshow: Living With Loss and Moving Forward With FaithSample

Day 3: Where Is God in My Grief? He’s in the Therapist’s Office.

God created therapists just the same as He created doctors. If your ankle was broken, you’d go to the doctor, so why wouldn’t you go when your mind is hurting? Seeking therapy isn’t about being weak. Not at all. For anyone struggling to heal from trauma or loss, who might be feeling like they are drowning, therapy is a lifeline. It’s an avenue I believe God uses to, as the Bible says, heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that therapy wasn’t something I ever wanted to do. I’ve always been the kind of guy who preferred to handle things on his own. But losing a child changes you in ways you never could have imagined. It shakes you to your core, leaving behind a void that feels impossible to fill. That’s where therapy comes in. It’s like a life preserver. When I talk to my therapist, I know I am in a safe space to explore whatever complicated emotions might have shown up for me that week. I can unpack the grief and anger and regret that comes with my loss.

In the Black church, therapy carries somewhat of a stigma. We are taught to just pray about our pain and trauma. We are supposed to just leave it in God’s hands. We are indirectly told that if we are still feeling the pain of grief, then somehow, we don’t have enough faith. But I know from my experience that this is categorically untrue. My faith is what drives me to my therapist’s office. I don’t ever have to divorce my trust in God from my need to receive help from someone who actually knows how the brain works, who knows how the body responds to emotional pain.

I can love God and pray for my healing. I can also go to a professional who God uses to help me along the way. So I encourage you not to be afraid to talk to someone. Jesus is the ultimate therapist, but He has also given us people to talk to about our grief and burdens on this side of glory.

Reflect: Are you seeing a Christian counselor or therapist to help with your grief? If not, what is preventing you from making use of this resource?