Sideshow: Living With Loss and Moving Forward With FaithSample

Day 1: The Loss of a Loved One

The death of my son marks the point when everything changed. When you lose a child, you are inducted into a special club that no one wants to be in. But the loss of my son has not stopped me from knowing and trusting God, though there are days when it seems like it might. Have you experienced those times too? Where family, friends, perhaps even God, seem far from you, from your grief? If loneliness has settled in and grief won’t let you go and there’s no one reaching out and no one for you to call, open your mouth and cry out to God. I promise you, He hears you. I promise you, He’s not sitting high and judging your pain. I promise you, He’s not expecting you to know what to do and how to do it. Psalm 34:18 tells us the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. The living God will sit with you even when no one else will if you let Him.

In these days, weeks, and months following your loss, try to create space for your grief. This is not a sign of weakness but rather an act of courage. It requires you to confront the pain that lies within you, to sit with it, to hold it close, even as it threatens to overwhelm you.

Also, don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability to others. There’s nothing weak about sharing your heart and letting people know where you are in any given moment. We still have this stigma, especially in certain communities, where we’re taught that we only get to be strong. In the Black community, strength is everything. But I think the people who are the strongest are those who are most vulnerable. The people who know how to release, who know how to put their grief in its proper place, are the ones who are actually the strongest. And those who are pretending not to have any emotions at all, who pretend that grief happens in this finite period of time, are the ones who need the most healing.

Reflect: Do you trust God to be close to you in your pain? Are you creating space for your grief and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with trusted people in your life?