A Husband's Role in MarriageSample

Be a Patriarch

One of the best-known verses in the Bible is, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1). Yet, built into the story of creation is also the story of the first marriage. And throughout the Bible, God gives instructions for parent/child interactions, roles, and responsibilities. God cares so much about the family that one might think God’s original design would have been for families to all live together as one. But before sin ever entered into the world, God said, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

It's an interesting statement. At that point, Adam and Eve didn’t have parents to speak of. So why include instructions for a man to leave his father and mother? Why not let everyone stay together? Isn’t this the same God who said, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12)?

When a man and wife become “one flesh” through marriage, something special happens, and it is not just sexual. The new family needs a new authority structure. A family can’t thrive with two heads. The man leaves the authority structure of his parents and creates a new family.

A husband is to take the lead in creating an environment with no shame and full disclosure (nakedness). He is to “become one” with his wife physically (one flesh), as well as emotionally and spiritually. And when circumstances conspire to pull them apart, he must be the glue that keeps the family together and “hold fast” to his wife.

When we get married, it’s hard enough to see past the next couple of weeks, let alone the next couple of years. But God speaks in terms of lineages. When a man becomes a husband, he becomes the father of the generations to come. Who they one day turn out to be has a lot to do with the man he is today and the type of home he creates. This reality has changed my parenting. I’m not just not trying to grow my son into a successful, godly man; I’m training him to one day be the patriarch of a new generation.

As a husband, are you living life one day at a time, or are you laying a foundation strong enough to support the faith of those to come?