Marriage Goals - Winning in CommunicationSample

Make the Time

Do you feel connected with your spouse? When was the last time you had a conversation that left you feeling closer than you were before?

Whether you have an iPhone or not, most of us know what FaceTime is. It’s a video call that puts two people 'face-2-face' that might physically be on two different continents. You tap one button on your phone and instantly you 'connect' to the other person with little effort. If only it were that easy in a marriage! What usually happens over time and with busy lives, is that people tend to drift emotionally into what feels like two different worlds.

Practical Tip: Be more intentional to create space in your week to come together and ask questions, listen well and prevent a relational disconnect.

If you want your communication to be fresh and engaging, here are a few helpful ideas to get you started as you make the time for meaningful conversations.

• DREAM TOGETHER - Share a cup of coffee and talk about your hopes, dreams, and fun things you want to experience. Ask each other questions about the future or places you’d like to explore. Discuss ideas or goals you want to pursue, risks you’re willing to take, and dreams you’d like to see become a reality.
• SHARE STRUGGLES - Most people genuinely care about what their spouse is going through. Many of us even want to pray for and support them when they struggle. The reality is, we often don’t really know what burdens they’re carrying because we don’t ask. Paul tells us to ​​”encourage one another and build each other up.” (Romans 15:5) One way to stop the emotional drift is to regularly ask them questions like, “how are you really doing?” or “is there anything you’re worried about or stressing over right now?”. When we make the time to ask + understand what they’re going through, it allows us to encourage them where they need it most!
• GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER - We are all growing and constantly changing, so getting to know your spouse isn't a one-time thing you do when you first start dating. It will take time and (again) intentionality to continue to re-discover their preferences, interests, and expectations in life. Don’t settle for just small talk, bingeing Netflix shows, or talking about the kids. Dig Deeper. Think of the heart of your spouse like a buried treasure worth seeking after.

Daily Action Step: Invite your spouse to help you plan ways to ‘actively pursue’ communication that is life-giving and intimate. Create margin in your schedule to regularly sit across a table, look each other in the eyes, and ”FaceTime.”