How to Thrive as a Pastor's WifeSample

Day Three: You Are Human

Ministry involves so much pouring out, giving, serving, and being available to others. Even when we’re not actively doing the work of the ministry, we’re often preparing to do the work. Pouring out is not a bad thing; healthy people pour themselves out regularly for the benefit of others.

But healthy people don’t just pour out; they also incorporate rhythms into their lives that allow them to refuel and take in sustenance. Unhealthy people may constantly fill their schedules because they genuinely want to impact the kingdom of God, but they often imagine they do not need (or are not allowed to need) what others need. They think because they are doing “the Lord’s work,” they would be selfish to say no or take a day off. Healthy people, by contrast, embrace their God-given limits and make commitments accordingly.

God has given us the church so that we might be poured into. This elevates the idea of church, because we must be open with our needs, our sins, and our victories if we are to be poured into as we desire. God intended for the mature to open ourselves up in community so that we have a circular discipleship in which we serve and are served.

So when I am asked, “Who pours into you?” I don’t think of one specific person. I think of my pastor-husband who preaches verse by verse through the Bible. I think of the elders who provide for and protect our church. I think of the young women who ask me hard questions and cause me to search the Scriptures for answers. I think of the women I’m discipling who in turn disciple me. I think of the staff and elder wives who serve so faithfully and encourage me to use my gifts.

I think of my friends who are willing to say hard things. I think of the people in my community group who pray for me. I think of longtime friends who live at a distance and listen and respond objectively to my struggles. I think of those who use their gifts on Sunday mornings to provide space for my worship. And, yes, I think of several older women who occasionally help me know what to do in parenting and marriage. This is the church, and this is God providing for my needs.

This is God providing for yours as well.

Unhealthy living eventually catches up with you. How have you lived in a way that pours out without also being poured into? Are you willing to pursue and receive the different ways God provides for your wellbeing?